Senator Kill-ton topped America's Slay-or, her next closest competitor, by a grisly tally of 37 percent to Rudy's 14 percent, in a poll of 1,013 adults conducted earlier this month. The rest (in peace) of the field couldn't top 6 percent.
Four out of every ten men and about a third of women chose Hillary, while, for Rudy, the split was 17 percent of men and 12 percent of women, proving conclusively that men are fraidy-cats. Only 6 percent of conservatives and 10 percent of white evangelicals went for Rudy.
The poll presents a host of new challenges for the presumptive favorites. Who will have the populist appeal to carry the Zombie vote? Which candidate has the best record on animal rights to appeal to the finicky Werewolf demographic? Do any of the other candidates stand a Ghost of a chance? One thing's for sure, at the end of any political contest, the Vampire lobby is sure to rejoice.

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