'Hooters' Girls Go Insane, Attack Romney

2008 presidential hopeful Mitt Romney is in stable condition this morning after being hugged repeatedly by three Hooters waitresses at a chili cook-off in Anderson, South Carolina yesterday.

After sampling chili from a rival restaurant and declaring it "good," a throng of squealing women in neon-orange tracksuits ambushed the former Massachusetts Governor and begged him to vote for the Hooters chili. Then, they mysteriously vanished.

The effect on Romney--and the crowd--was palpable, leading the good judgment of some bystanders to become momentarily impaired. One woman approached him and said, "Oh, wow, you're handsome," while another (oddly) offered him Mardi Gras beads, to which Romney shrugged and said (even more oddly), "I have nothing to show."

For the record: If anything could ever eclipse the "Macaca" disaster, it would have to be Mitt Romney flashing the crowd at a South Carolina chili cook-off.

Warning: The following video contains full-frontal glad-handing:




B. Brandon Barker is the author of the novel Operation EMU.