Swift Kids Say the Darnedest Things

Earlier today, we here at Political Machine brought you Swift Kids for Truth, a series of videos produced by 23/6 in which several children make shocking and ruthless accusations about three prominent 2008 Presidential candidates.

Now, before things get out of hand, let's make one thing perfectly clear: This is a joke. (1) Hillary Clinton did not steal rugs from the White House, (2) there is no viable medical evidence out there that proves she is actually a man, and (3) the cute and lovable 'Swift Kids' are in fact professional actors with parents who support this activity.

Our readers, it seems, are getting the wrong idea. Here is a sampling of comments, with editorial responses from PM's Executive Director of Official Responses (pictured on the right):

Concerned writes, "I agree that these ads are not funny and children should not be involved. However, it is the truth and is it not a shame that in order for the truth to be told we must hear it from the mouths of babes."

PM Response: John Edwards, it's true, can afford a $5000 manicure, but he has better places to spend that money. Like on a really cool "Italian Americans for Rudy!" T-shirt.

Sassieizme thinks it's "sad that we have reached a point in this country where 'Anything Goes' when it comes to politics. Sad, very sad and the parents of these children do not deserve to have ANY children!!!"

PM Response: Don't be sad. Go to Hooters tonight!

jmmullen observes, "Interesting how even these children can see right through these crooked politicians..."

PM Response: JM, seriously, these kids are playing HALO on their XBoxes right now.

Meanwhile, Karen scolds, "Republicans, how low can you go!!!"

PM Response: How about this low?

Tom was "hoping for some humorous put-downs. Instead what I got was 5th-grade whining hoping to be funny because it was delivered in baby-talk."

PM Response: You know, we felt the same way.

B. Brandon Barker is the author of the novel Operation EMU.