Welcome to the 2008 LOLection�

Yep, it's official: This is the silliest election on record.

How do we know for sure? When one man -- a man with no formal connection to politics and government -- can singlehandedly alter the rankings of the 2008 Republican candidates, and when that man doesn't have a chin under his beard but another fist, well, then you know that even Chuck Norris may be afraid.

Here are the facts so far: This entire election is going to hinge on one type of person. She's young. She's a woman. Sometimes, she dances on her desk at work. So far, that's all we know. But the politicians are antsy and the media is bored, and everyone has decided that boldfaced, cockamamie and outright silliness is the way to reach her.

So far, it's working. The silliest candidates are the ones surging in the polls. And whether or not those polls represent the people who actually go out and vote in the primaries, we shall soon see. Many of these pollster predictions, however, are innocent until proven guilty. Meaning, we have an entire year of nonsense ahead of us.

Yet, it's not too early in the season for a brief retrospective of the 2008 LOLection®.

LOLection® Highlights (So Far)

Mike Huckabee Recruits Chuck Norris

In his first TV ad, former Arkansas Governor Mike Huckabee opens with the following statement: "My plan to secure the borders? Two words: Chuck Norris." (Silly Meter: 8.9/10)

Prostitutes for Ron Paul!

MSNBC's Tucker Carlson crashes a Ron Paul press conference in Nevada with two "solicitors" from the infamous Moonlight Bunny Ranch brothel. Dennis Hof, the establishment's owner, is supporting the Republican Congressman's states' rights platform. (Silly Meter: 6.7/10)

Mike Gravel's Psychedelic Rap

Former Alaska Sen. Mike Gravel, a Democratic 2008 Presidential hopeful, is upset about being excluded from appearing in Democratic debates. In fact, he's so upset, he's silly upset. (Silly Meter: 9.9/10)

Romney's UltiMitt Smackdown

Supporters of Mitt Romney craft a silly pun from his name, then devise a high-tech, grassroots social-networking extravaganza around it! The Romney campaign follows suit with its own "UltiMitt Holiday" souvenir line. (Silly Meter: 9.1/10)

Obama Girl and Her Offspring

BarelyPolitical's viral video catapults Amber Lee to stardom, spawning Romney Girl, Giuliani Girl and a host of other YouTube endorsements that fan the flames of the 2008 LOLection®, including Political Machine favorite My Johnson Is for Thompson. (Silly Meter: 10.9/10)

'Hooters' Girls Go Insane

See, the pollsters are right: This election is going to be decided by young women who wear tennis outfits to work. (Silly Meter: 8.2/10)

Get Yer 'ObamaMAMA' T-Shirt Right Here!

Speaking of Baby-doll T-shirts and spaghetti-strap tank tops: In an effort to (a) raise campaign cash and (b) demonstrate brazen nuttiness, candidates in the 2008 LOLection® are hawking official campaign merchandise. Dennis Kucinich sells a pocket-sized copy of the Constitution for $25. (Silly Meter: 7.2/10)

B. Brandon Barker is the author of the novel Operation EMU.