A Ron Paul Blimp In Every Pot

First, the Ron Paul nuts flooded the comments of every political blog in America. This drove certain people crazy, but it also brought the once-obscure libertarian politician to the attention of millions of voters and potential voters dissatisfied with the current crop of presidential front-runners.

Then, the Ron Paul army began raising staggering amounts of money for their beloved Texas congressman and anti-war Republican -- more than $4 million during a single day last month, thanks to an online stunt equating the nice old country doctor with the Guy Fawkes-masked urbane terrorist from the movie "V For Vendetta."

Next, the disciples of Dr. Paul went outside, blinked in the harsh sunlight, and found the landscape woefully short on homemade signs and banners supporting their hero.



Organized groups and lone wolves began plastering Ron Paul slogans on any flat or vertical surface. In America's dissatisfied suburbs, Ron Paul posters and signs have become as common as foreclosure notices. Sure, there are a few Obama or Huckabee bumper stickers here and there, but only the Ron Paul faithful paint entire RVs and panel trucks and cargo vans in support of their man. Driving through the lonely Mojave Desert on Interstate 15 last week, I saw an entire roadside mini-mart gas station turned into a massive Ron Paul billboard.

Now, the Paulians have turned their collective gaze skyward. How might the Message of Freedom be brought up to cloud level? What is their secret weapon?

Easy: Just lease a monstrous 200-foot-long blimp for $350,000 a month, plaster it with Ron Paul slogans, and set the beast loose on Washington, New York, Boston and eventually to New Hampshire.

The world will know by midnight tonight if enough money has been collected to launch the airship next week. If these maniacs pull it off, I'll be up there in the blimp's gondola as we fly to D.C., where we'll likely find a furious Dick Cheney in his duck-hunting hat, firing his shotgun at the massive craft.

I'll be filing a long story in RADAR Magazine about this weird aerial campaign launched by people with no actual connection to Ron Paul's campaign. What will it all mean? Will every presidential candidate be forced to compete by launching their own terrible airships? Will Mitt Romney just pull out his checkbook and buy the moon?

One day, should the blimp stunt succeed, we may all look back in dull nostalgia at the semi-innocent days when Fred Thompson campaigned with a prop redneck truck, disgraced loser George Allen campaigned with a prop football, and Tom Tancredo campaigned with a prop undocumented Mexican. (Just kidding, Tom. We know you wouldn't be caught dead with one of those dangerous illegals making five bucks an hour doing menial no-benefit jobs.)

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