Mole: The Substance of Mitt Romney

"Nice to mole you.. meet you! Nice to meet your mole! Don't say mole..." - Austin Powers

It would be foolish to vote for a presidential candidate on the basis of something completely irrelevant to the job, yet there hardly seems to be an article on Mitt Romney that doesn't codify that notion. In truth, our media bandies all sorts of irreleventia about all of the candidates, but none so specifically and unfairly. Do me a favor, do your country a favor, put it out of your mind.

Before I get to Mitt's policy positions, let me make a few things clear. I have deep, fundamental disagreements with Republicans. Judge this piece based on whether I communicate those positions fairly, not on how I evaluate them. Bear in mind, too, that I currently judge Mitt to be the Republican candidate that I would vote for if someone put a gun to my head and said, "Vote for a Republican." (I would hope the guy at least had a permit.) If my evaluations seem harsh, it may be more about overall philosophical differences than about Mitt specifically. My favoritest reader is a Mittite, you should also know, but I will not let that color my judgment. Mole you after the mole... Okay, one more clarification. One of the reasons I'd vote for Mitt under threat of death is that I am convinced his true positions, like several of the current Republicans, are closer to his past, more reasonable ones than the butched-up, Godded-out slogans the current "base" is forcing him to adopt. That's a whole different article.

A perusal of Mitt's issues bullet points shows rather starkly the difference between Republicans and Democrats this year. Everything is something to be afraid of. "Combating" this, "Confronting" that., EEK! A mouse! If there are any grownup Republicans reading this, please chime in so people know it's not just me. There are lots of you who are smart and don't need to be scared poopless by Arabs and Mexicans and the Devil to get your vote. Please take your party back.

Keeping Americans Safe - After President George H.W. Bush left office, in 1993, the Clinton Administration began to dismantle the military, taking advantage of what has been called a "peace dividend" from the end of the Cold War.

GOVERNOR ROMNEY: "They took the dividend, but didn't get the peace. It seems that we had come to believe that war and threats and evil men were gone forever. As Charles Krauthammer observed, we took a 'holiday from history.'"

The Romney Plan: A Stronger Military. We must increase the size of our military by 100,000 troops.
Protect the Homeland. Today, protecting the homeland must begin far from home. Intelligence and law enforcement efforts able to address threats before they reach our shores must be a priority for U.S. and international action
Transform And Strengthen Our Domestic Civilian International Efforts To Meet A New Generation Of Challenges. For every region, one civilian leader should have authority over and responsibility for all the relevant agencies and departments, similar to the single military commander who heads U.S. Central Command.

Oh, it's Bill Clinton's fault! It's too bad there've been no Republicans in charge to fix it all up. I'm not surprised, but it's still funny.
I actually don't have a problem with most of his plan. No candidate who hopes to get elected is ever going to suggest cutting defense spending, even though it is by far the largest source of waste and fraud. We could cut spending and still accomplish what he wants. I would like to know how he plans to restore the military's decimated recruitment capability while remaining in Iraq. Wait, I don't see Iraq anywhere here. That's an odd omission, isn't it? Does that mean the Iraq conflict isn't part of Keeping Americans Safe?
His comments about domestic security are dead-on, although he seems to prematurely declare security of facilities here a fait accompli.
All things considered, I give Romney decent marks here.

Confronting Radical Jihad - "I think many of us still fail to comprehend the extent of the threat posed by radical Islam, by Jihad...For radical Islam, there is an over-arching conflict and goal - replacing all modern Islamic states with a caliphate, destroying America, and conquering the world." (Governor Mitt Romney, Remarks At The George Herbert Walker Bush Presidential Library, 4/10/07)

America is under attack by big, red balls! Doesn't it seem a little like Mitt is demonizing someone else's religion here? This kind of rhetoric is SOP for the GOP at this point, but that doesn't make it any better. Also, I got a little confused at the end there. Are we being threatened by Pinky and the Brain?

The Romney Plan:
Create A Special Partnership Force (SPF)

Not an anti-skin cancer force, but more of a Jihad Squad. It's difficult to summarize, so read the plan if you doubt my assessment. I think it's supposed to be like Delta Force, but with added police and humanitarian powers, yet to me it sounds like Mobile Martial Law.

Launch A New Type Of Marshall Plan Unifying Nonmilitary Sources Of Power To Support Moderate Muslims - As President, Governor Romney will call together our Middle East allies and the major nations of the developed world to establish a "Partnership for Progress and Prosperity." This Partnership will assemble the resources of all developed nations to assure that threatened Islamic states have public schools, micro-credit and banking, the rule of law, human rights, basic health care, and competitive economic policies.

Is that the problem? Not enough moderate Muslims? Still, I think he correctly identifies several of the causes of radicalization. Expecting partnerships from the governments that are causing it is another story.

Strengthen Global Alliances - The failure of efforts such as the United Nations Human Rights Council has given multilateralism a bad name.We need to expand alliances such as NATO and efforts among the world's leading nations to face the new threat of radical Jihad and increase our homeland security.

Dirty, dirty U.N.! Strengthening alliances is smart, but expecting reforms in Muslim nations without the help of the U.N. or some other non-military world body is a little unrealistic.



Combating Nuclear Terrorism - Huh? When did they get nukes? Oh, he means Iran. So, wanting nukes is terrorism, while having nukes is...Look, nobody wants Iran to have nukes, but the rhetoric is overheated. Luckily, his plan isn't. Basically, a mix of diplomatic efforts, with the military option "on the table." Who would ever take it off the table? "We will never use our military on you no matter what!"


Latin American Allies - Castro bad, free trade good, legal immigrants good. To me, this looks like an attempt to counter-balance his hardline immigration stance. By making sure they stay in their own countries to be exploited? At least he's trying.


Global Economic Competition - Lower taxes while strengthening education and rebuilding infrastructure! He also favors ending the misunderstood Estate Tax, but I love this doozy the most:

Zero Rate On Middle Class Savings. Eliminate all taxes on interest, dividends, and capital gains for anyone with Adjusted Gross Income under $200,000 to make it easier for the middle class to save.

Is there a huge investor class making less than $200,000 a year? This is a little bit like offering a discount on a brand-new Beamer to everyone in the middle class!
This is all boilerplate Republican economic policy, e.g. complete crap, but since he's a Republican candidate, Romney's right on target here.

Ending Energy Dependence - "This kind of energy independence will also mean pursuing ample domestic sources of energy: more drilling offshore and in ANWR, nuclear power, renewable sources, ethanol, biodiesel, solar, wind, and full exploitation of coal – both solid and liquid." (Governor Mitt Romney, Remarks At The George Bush Presidential Library Center, 4/10/07)

Drilling, nuclear power, and weak carbon-cap laws. See, the problem isn't oil, it's foreign oil!


Curbing Federal Spending - Ugh. Romney supports the unconstitutional Line Item Veto, Executive discretion to cut Congress' appropriation to any agency by 25%, and requiring a 60% majority to pass any new tax. What, no Prima Nocte? Still, I have a hunch this is what I'll find on all of the GOP candidates' platforms.


Ending Illegal Immigration - Really? You're going to end it? Actually, for a Republican, I gotta give Romney props for not supporting a guest worker program, and for at least saying he'll crack down on employers. Not as good, his statement that he will "Punish sanctuary cities." Preventing people from reporting crimes, sending their kids to school, and getting emergency medical aid are undeniably bad for everyone.


Reducing Healthcare Costs - This is such crap, I'm going to reprint the whole thing for you, in case you don't believe me. (My comments in italics.)

Deregulate State Markets. Encourage states to eliminate the cumbersome insurance regulations that drive costs up and providers out of the market. Right, regulations are cumbersome! Like, truth in advertising. Who can really make sure everything they say is true?

Fix The Tax Code. Level the playing field by making all health care expenses tax deductible, eliminating the special treatment afforded employer-provided health plans.

Stop The Free-Riders. Use some of the money currently spent on providing expensive "free care" for the uninsured at emergency rooms to instead help the truly needy buy private insurance. How do you do this except by denying people care? This is inhuman. So, you might have gas, or you might be having a heart attack. Sorry, shoulda been richer. Buh-bye.

Reform The Medical Liability System. Institute federal caps on non-economic and punitive damage awards to eliminate frivolous lawsuits and bring an end to the practice of defensive medicine. Sure, why should a doctor be afraid of what will happen to him if he amputates the wrong arm? Plus, why isn't there any mechanism already in place to prevent frivolous lawsuits? Shouldn't there be someone to, I don't know, JUDGE the merits of a suit at the outset?

Promote Innovation In Medicaid. Give states flexibility to spend their Medicaid dollars in whatever way they find most efficient and effective. Medicaid ain't broke, Mitt.

Bring Health Care Into The 21st Century. Improve quality and enhance transparency by introducing the same competitive forces that drive innovation in other sectors of the economy. This is the fundamental problem. What other sectors of the economy have life-or-death consequences? What drives innovation in policing and firefighting?

Again, in fairness, I bet a lot of this is common to other candidates, but that ER thing is glaring and frightening. I guess it works, though. Everyone will either buy insurance or die.


American Culture & Values - Ugh again. Overturn Roe v Wade, "enforce obscenity laws" (read: censorship), support a constitutional ban on gay marriage! Whoah, Mitt, you lost me a little here. Couldn't you have just relied on the usual "State's Rights" fig leaf? You get a pass only if all of the other Republicans (besides Ron Paul) are just as bad. Which is quite possible. I thought you were against cumbersome regulations.

Raising the Bar on Education - and removing the vaulting pole!

Wow, every one of these "Substance" pieces has uncovered surprises for me. Since Mitt is the first Republican (Ron Paul is a different breed altogether) that I've done, it remains to be seen where my hypothetical gun-to-head vote will go. I like him less now, not more. Sorry, RomneyGirl. Still, if you're part of today's GOP base, you should be as pleased as mole.

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