Celebrity Endorsements: Pleasing or Poisonous?
Tommy Christopher
Contributor
Posted:
01/23/08
According to a Pew Research Study released in September of 2007, almost every celebrity's endoorsement is at best, meaningless, at worst, poisonous. Unless you're Oprah Winfrey. This is the biggest disparity I've seen in a poll since, well, last Tuesday. While endorsements from everyone from a minister to Bill O'Reilly had a net effect of 6% at best, in a separate question, 60% of respondents thought Winfrey's endorsement of Barack Obama would help his candidacy.
I love it when I read one of these studies with a forehead-slapping kicker like that. You just got done saying that every other celebrity, and your clergyman, and the Governor of your state's opinion means nothing to you, but you think Oprah will help Obama by a factor of 10. With the recent flap over Oprah's endorsement, real or imagined, I wonder how those numbers would hold up today.
Let's have a little fun here.
I'm going to list some celebrities who are endorsing or otherwise supporting some candidates. There's a chance I'll throw in a quip or two. Then, I'm going to ask you what effect, if any, that person's endorsement has on your decision. I expect you to ignore the quips, and ignore the contempt you may perceive about letting these endorsements sway you.
Nothing could be further from the truth. I think there are perfectly legitimate reasons to lend credence to these endorsements, which I'll explain later. In fact, I'm not even going to give "no effect" as a choice. Take a stand, people. Then, I'll tell you who the candidate is, and who els endorses them. Ready to play? No peeking ahead!
The candidate: Hillary Clinton.
No fair answering "We don't give a f@$% 'cuz it's your birthday." Now, you may not think of Fifty as a leader in political thought, but he has a rock-solid rationale:
Furthermore, with a name like 50 Cent, it's hard to argue Hillary's not the candidate of change. Get it? Five dimes...Also endorsing or supporting Hillary:
Magic Johnson (not a pet name for Bill's...never mind)
Vera Wang (also not a pet name...)
Tony Bennett (The Best is Yet to...)
Barbara Streisand (Send in... McCain...)
Rob Reiner (Hillary goes to 11!)
John Grisham (Firm support?),
Ted Danson (everybody already knows her name)
Billie Jean King (It was really LBJ who beat Bobby Riggs)
Martha Stewart (a good thing?)
Jerry Springer (his final thought?)
Hugh Hefner ("Our unabashed dictionary defines a dip in the polls as "Electile Dysfunction")
Mr. Sulu himself, George Takei! (ahead, warp factor Change!)
Pauly Shore? Really?
Fox News Excecutive Vice President Jack Abernathy!
Chevy Chase (I'm supporting Hillary, and you're not.)
Jenna Jameson (now we're having a conversation).
Tobey Maguire (wishes he could quit her)
Rupert Murdoch (he donates, you decide)
Ben Stiller (C'mon, do it. Call Barack a junkie. Do it.)
...and many, many more.
The Candidate: Barack Obama
I know, I thought that sentence was going to end, "Tommy Christopher", too. What does "People" magazine know, anyway? By the way, I contacted Matt Damon and his people for this story, but y'know what? Too sexy for "The Political Machine." Also endorsing Barack:
Oprah Winfrey (Did you know she was endorsing someone?)
George Clooney ("Sexiest" alumni)
Dennis Haysbert (advice to Barack: Don't answer any calls from a place called CTU)
Eddie Murphy (De- Mo- Cra- Tic- Party All the Time, Party All the Time, Party All the Ti-hime...)
Ellen Pompeo (Thinks Obama is McPresidentially)
Zach Braff (No, Hortense, nobody ca-ha-hares who you endorse...)
Jessica Biel (delivering evangelicals)
Taye Diggs (Helping Barack get his groove back)
Will I Am (Let's Get Re-Elected in here!)
Warren Buffett (not the Margaritaville guy. I checked.)
Judy Blume (Are you there, God? It's me, Barack.)
Cindy Crawford (the closest we want our next President to get to Crawford.)
Edward Norton (Hellooo, ball!)
Richard Clarke (not the World's Oldest Teenager, the other one, security dude.)
Sidney Poitier (They call me Mister President!)
Samuel L. Jackson (I want these motherf__kin' Republicans out this motherf__kin' White House!)
Leonard Nimoy (thinks Obama is half-Vulcan)
and many more!
This next one might be a little too easy, but try and pretend you don't know who the candidate is.
The Candidate: John Edwards
I'm really asking for it here, but, like 50, I also have a rock solid rationale.
Also endorsing or supporting Edwards:
Jackson Browne (I was going to make an "Is She Really Going Out with Him?" joke, but that's Joe Jackson.)
Kevin Bacon (so, that means everyone endorses Barack by six degrees or less)
Tim Robbins (the well-adjusted man's Sean Penn)
Bonnie Raitt (I got nothin'. Little help, readers?)
John Mellencamp (John Cougar is endorsing Ron Paul)
Madeleine Stowe (Ummm, she was great in 12 Monkeys?)
Harry Belafonte (supports raising minimum wage above "a drink a' rum")
Russell Simmons (wants to get country out of jam, def or not)
Sandy Berger (what do you call a "Big Mac" at the beach?)
Glenn Frey (The Heat is On, yeah, it's on K Street)
Sean Penn (Dude, dial it back. You're Jeff Spicoli!)
Brett Ratner (Michael Bay, for Dummies)
...and many more!
The Candidate: Ron Paul
"His name was Ron Paul. Please use the Google." If you're the kind of person for whom celebrity endorsements have a negative effect, Ron Paul is your guy. Manilow was the only one I could find. I'm sure the Paul Army will fill in any omissions.
Update: Of course, the media tries to hide Paul's endorsements, but I found 'em! Notables include:
Doug Stanhope (the funniest standup comic in the world)
Krist Novoselic (Smells Like Liberty)
The Candidate: Mike Huckabee
As hunting buddies go, I'd have thought Mitt Romney's varmint-bagging skillset would be a better match for Huckabee's fried squirrel affinity, but what do I know? No word from the Huckabee camp on the candidate's stance on "Sweet Poontang." The Nuge rounds out the 1927 Yankees of bizarre, fake tough-guy, destined-for-greatness-on-the-Branson, MO-strip endorsements: Chuck Norris and wrestler Ric Flair. Oh, and he's also endorsed by Tyson. No, John Tyson, of Tyson Chicken fame.
The Candidate: John McCain
"He might not look like much, but he can make a presidential run in less than 12 parsecs." McCain, too, is a little thin on celebrity endorsements. Also supporting John McCain:
Wilford Brimley (Smuggled McCain out of Hanoi Hilton hidden in his mustache)
Tom Selleck (Brimley's 'stache backup)
Rip Torn (His eyebrows will do in a pinch)
George Soros (WTF?)
G. Gordon Liddy (Really covering the mustache bases)
Ladies and Gentlemen, Mr. Burt Bacharach! (What the world needs now, is war, sweet war)
Joe Eszterhas (Donated treatment for Showgirls 3 written on bar napkin)
The Candidate: Mitt Romney (Ooof! Sorry, RG!)
If ever there was a case of "With friends like these..." Yikes! Mitt is also a little sparse on celeb endorsements. Rounding out his list:
Pat Boone (For voters too old to appreciate Donny and Marie's "Devil Music")
Donny and Marie Osmond (She's a little bit country, he's a little bit fiscally conservative...)
The Candidate: Rudy Giuliani
"Hey, Roscoe P. Coltrane, g'head and flip the diebold switch for the best candidate since young Pontius Pilate did whip-its in the cloakroom at CBGB on Arbor Day."
Also endorsing or otherwise supporting Rudy:
Adam Sandler (currently working with Rudy on "The 9/11 Song")
Bo Derek (changed the title of her hit Dudley Moore flick to...wait for it...)
Pat Robertson (changed the name of his world-famous 700 Club to...)
Jeff Gordon (will only enter the Daytona 500 if they change the name to...)
So, there you have it, folks. A veritable who's who of politically leaning celebritude. Why should you listen to any of them? You be the judge, but ask yourself the same question next time you're getting political advice from Chris Matthews, or Tim Russert, or (yikes) Bill O'Reilly! We can all read the same internet.
My advice? Take a look at the substance of each candidate. Weigh them all carefully. Then do whatever Oprah tells you to.
Sources:
Black Voices
Forbes
Pew Research Center
NewsMeat
I love it when I read one of these studies with a forehead-slapping kicker like that. You just got done saying that every other celebrity, and your clergyman, and the Governor of your state's opinion means nothing to you, but you think Oprah will help Obama by a factor of 10. With the recent flap over Oprah's endorsement, real or imagined, I wonder how those numbers would hold up today.
Let's have a little fun here.
I'm going to list some celebrities who are endorsing or otherwise supporting some candidates. There's a chance I'll throw in a quip or two. Then, I'm going to ask you what effect, if any, that person's endorsement has on your decision. I expect you to ignore the quips, and ignore the contempt you may perceive about letting these endorsements sway you.
Nothing could be further from the truth. I think there are perfectly legitimate reasons to lend credence to these endorsements, which I'll explain later. In fact, I'm not even going to give "no effect" as a choice. Take a stand, people. Then, I'll tell you who the candidate is, and who els endorses them. Ready to play? No peeking ahead!
| More likely to vote for that candidate | |
|---|---|
| less likely to vote for that candidate |
The candidate: Hillary Clinton.
No fair answering "We don't give a f@$% 'cuz it's your birthday." Now, you may not think of Fifty as a leader in political thought, but he has a rock-solid rationale:
Electing Hillary "is a way for us to have Bill Clinton be president again, and he did a great job during his term," says 50.
Furthermore, with a name like 50 Cent, it's hard to argue Hillary's not the candidate of change. Get it? Five dimes...Also endorsing or supporting Hillary:
Magic Johnson (not a pet name for Bill's...never mind)
Vera Wang (also not a pet name...)
Tony Bennett (The Best is Yet to...)
Barbara Streisand (Send in... McCain...)
Rob Reiner (Hillary goes to 11!)
John Grisham (Firm support?),
Ted Danson (everybody already knows her name)
Billie Jean King (It was really LBJ who beat Bobby Riggs)
Martha Stewart (a good thing?)
Jerry Springer (his final thought?)
Hugh Hefner ("Our unabashed dictionary defines a dip in the polls as "Electile Dysfunction")
Mr. Sulu himself, George Takei! (ahead, warp factor Change!)
Pauly Shore? Really?
Fox News Excecutive Vice President Jack Abernathy!
Chevy Chase (I'm supporting Hillary, and you're not.)
Jenna Jameson (now we're having a conversation).
Tobey Maguire (wishes he could quit her)
Rupert Murdoch (he donates, you decide)
Ben Stiller (C'mon, do it. Call Barack a junkie. Do it.)
...and many, many more.
| More likely to vote for that candidate | |
|---|---|
| Less likely to vote for that candidate |
The Candidate: Barack Obama
I know, I thought that sentence was going to end, "Tommy Christopher", too. What does "People" magazine know, anyway? By the way, I contacted Matt Damon and his people for this story, but y'know what? Too sexy for "The Political Machine." Also endorsing Barack:
Oprah Winfrey (Did you know she was endorsing someone?)
George Clooney ("Sexiest" alumni)
Dennis Haysbert (advice to Barack: Don't answer any calls from a place called CTU)
Eddie Murphy (De- Mo- Cra- Tic- Party All the Time, Party All the Time, Party All the Ti-hime...)
Ellen Pompeo (Thinks Obama is McPresidentially)
Zach Braff (No, Hortense, nobody ca-ha-hares who you endorse...)
Jessica Biel (delivering evangelicals)
Taye Diggs (Helping Barack get his groove back)
Will I Am (Let's Get Re-Elected in here!)
Warren Buffett (not the Margaritaville guy. I checked.)
Judy Blume (Are you there, God? It's me, Barack.)
Cindy Crawford (the closest we want our next President to get to Crawford.)
Edward Norton (Hellooo, ball!)
Richard Clarke (not the World's Oldest Teenager, the other one, security dude.)
Sidney Poitier (They call me Mister President!)
Samuel L. Jackson (I want these motherf__kin' Republicans out this motherf__kin' White House!)
Leonard Nimoy (thinks Obama is half-Vulcan)
and many more!
This next one might be a little too easy, but try and pretend you don't know who the candidate is.
| More likely to vote for that candidate | |
|---|---|
| Less likely to vote for that candidate |
The Candidate: John Edwards
I'm really asking for it here, but, like 50, I also have a rock solid rationale.
Also endorsing or supporting Edwards:
Jackson Browne (I was going to make an "Is She Really Going Out with Him?" joke, but that's Joe Jackson.)
Kevin Bacon (so, that means everyone endorses Barack by six degrees or less)
Tim Robbins (the well-adjusted man's Sean Penn)
Bonnie Raitt (I got nothin'. Little help, readers?)
John Mellencamp (John Cougar is endorsing Ron Paul)
Madeleine Stowe (Ummm, she was great in 12 Monkeys?)
Harry Belafonte (supports raising minimum wage above "a drink a' rum")
Russell Simmons (wants to get country out of jam, def or not)
Sandy Berger (what do you call a "Big Mac" at the beach?)
Glenn Frey (The Heat is On, yeah, it's on K Street)
Sean Penn (Dude, dial it back. You're Jeff Spicoli!)
Brett Ratner (Michael Bay, for Dummies)
...and many more!
| More likely to vote for that candidate | |
|---|---|
| Less likely to vote for that candidate |
The Candidate: Ron Paul
"His name was Ron Paul. Please use the Google." If you're the kind of person for whom celebrity endorsements have a negative effect, Ron Paul is your guy. Manilow was the only one I could find. I'm sure the Paul Army will fill in any omissions.
Update: Of course, the media tries to hide Paul's endorsements, but I found 'em! Notables include:
Doug Stanhope (the funniest standup comic in the world)
Krist Novoselic (Smells Like Liberty)
| More likely to vote for that candidate | |
|---|---|
| Less likely to vote for that candidate |
The Candidate: Mike Huckabee
As hunting buddies go, I'd have thought Mitt Romney's varmint-bagging skillset would be a better match for Huckabee's fried squirrel affinity, but what do I know? No word from the Huckabee camp on the candidate's stance on "Sweet Poontang." The Nuge rounds out the 1927 Yankees of bizarre, fake tough-guy, destined-for-greatness-on-the-Branson, MO-strip endorsements: Chuck Norris and wrestler Ric Flair. Oh, and he's also endorsed by Tyson. No, John Tyson, of Tyson Chicken fame.
| More likely to vote for that candidate | |
|---|---|
| Less likely to vote for that candidate |
The Candidate: John McCain
"He might not look like much, but he can make a presidential run in less than 12 parsecs." McCain, too, is a little thin on celebrity endorsements. Also supporting John McCain:
Wilford Brimley (Smuggled McCain out of Hanoi Hilton hidden in his mustache)
Tom Selleck (Brimley's 'stache backup)
Rip Torn (His eyebrows will do in a pinch)
George Soros (WTF?)
G. Gordon Liddy (Really covering the mustache bases)
Ladies and Gentlemen, Mr. Burt Bacharach! (What the world needs now, is war, sweet war)
Joe Eszterhas (Donated treatment for Showgirls 3 written on bar napkin)
| More likely to vote for that candidate | |
|---|---|
| Less likely to vote for that candidate |
The Candidate: Mitt Romney (Ooof! Sorry, RG!)
If ever there was a case of "With friends like these..." Yikes! Mitt is also a little sparse on celeb endorsements. Rounding out his list:
Pat Boone (For voters too old to appreciate Donny and Marie's "Devil Music")
Donny and Marie Osmond (She's a little bit country, he's a little bit fiscally conservative...)
| More likely to vote for that candidate | |
|---|---|
| Less likely to vote for that candidate |
The Candidate: Rudy Giuliani
"Hey, Roscoe P. Coltrane, g'head and flip the diebold switch for the best candidate since young Pontius Pilate did whip-its in the cloakroom at CBGB on Arbor Day."
Also endorsing or otherwise supporting Rudy:
Adam Sandler (currently working with Rudy on "The 9/11 Song")
Bo Derek (changed the title of her hit Dudley Moore flick to...wait for it...)
Pat Robertson (changed the name of his world-famous 700 Club to...)
Jeff Gordon (will only enter the Daytona 500 if they change the name to...)
So, there you have it, folks. A veritable who's who of politically leaning celebritude. Why should you listen to any of them? You be the judge, but ask yourself the same question next time you're getting political advice from Chris Matthews, or Tim Russert, or (yikes) Bill O'Reilly! We can all read the same internet.
My advice? Take a look at the substance of each candidate. Weigh them all carefully. Then do whatever Oprah tells you to.
Sources:
Black Voices
Forbes
Pew Research Center
NewsMeat
Tommy's Mom's Blog, The Lady of Light
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