John SIDNEY McCain was Born in Panama!

From the muckraking International Herald Tribune comes confirmation of what many have suspected for a long time: John SIDNEY McCain is a one man sleeper cell from Panama. Oddly, no one seems to have noticed the fact that McCain was born in the Panama Canal Zone in 1936, which technically makes him ineligible to be elected president, maybe:

McCain's likely nomination as the Republican candidate for president and the happenstance of his birth in the Panama Canal Zone in 1936 are reviving a musty debate that has surfaced periodically since the founders first set quill to parchment and declared that only a "natural-born citizen" can hold the nation's highest office.

Of course, Barack HUSSEIN Obama was born in Hawaii. And Hillary RODHAM Clinton entered the world in Illinois.


None of this may actually matter, mind you, since (surprise) John SHIRLEY McCain's birth occurred on a military base. Being posted there by the U.S. Government, you can't exactly tell McCain's parents their offspring don't qualify as legitimate citizens. Who really knows what the founding fathers really meant anyway:

The phrase "natural born" was in early drafts of the Constitution. Scholars say notes of the Constitutional Convention give away little of the intent of the framers. Its origin may be traced to a letter from John Jay to George Washington, with Jay suggesting that to prevent foreigners from becoming commander in chief, the Constitution needed to "declare expressly" that only a natural-born citizen could be president.

OK, whatever, so Panama's a non-issue, but still, what about SIDNEY? Surely there's a good playground taunt, or hidden meaning in that somebody can cook up before the election, no?