Obama Going Commando?

In an upcoming interview with Us Magazine, Democratic Presidential hopeful Barack Obama is stonewalling the public on a crucial issue to voters:

So, boxers or briefs? Bill Clinton said he wore boxers in a 1992 interview with MTV.

I don't answer those humiliating questions. But whichever one it is, I look good in 'em!

The candidate was, however, quick to criticize others, using his daughters as surrogates:

Do your daughters Sasha and Malia ever ask about Britney Spears? Actually, yeah. But they're very sensible. They're pretty down on Britney and Paris and all of that. They think that's very "yuck." They're way more into Hannah Montana and Beyonce. They got to go backstage and meet Beyonce and they just love her to death.

What is Barack Obama trying to hide? Can we trust a candidate who won't tell us how he's trussed? Does he even wear underwear? I don't know about the rest of you, but I want a Commander in Chief, not a "Commando sans Briefs." How can he claim to be the candidate of "Change", if he won't tell us what, if anything, he's changing?

For its part, the McCain campaign has not released information as to whether their candidate's "carpets match the drapes."

When reached for comment, a source familiar with the Clinton campaign suggested that I look "under there", and in response to my follow-up, replied, "I just made you say underwear."