America's Hottest Governor Is Pregnant

According to The Alaska Report, Alaska's Governor (and "America's Hottest Governor") Sarah Palin is no longer in the running to be Sen. John McCain's running mate on the 2008 Republican ticket. Why? She's pregnant with her fifth child.

On Wednesday, Gov. Palin announced to the Juneau press that she "will be delivering an addition to the first family" in mid-May. Sarah and her husband Todd already have a son Track, 18, and daughters Bristol, 17, Willow, 13, and Piper, 6.

The announcement throws a wrench into the Republican master plan to pair not-especially-hot John McCain with librarian-of-your-dreams Palin. Already, two top female Republicans have declined the honor--Sen. Kay Bailey Hutchison and Condoleeza Rice--and so his journey continues.

All is not lost, though. Another Alaskan is available: Lisa Murkowski, who may not be Alaska's Hottest Politician, but is certainly getting there. However, her environmental record makes Sen. McCain look like, I don't know, Grizzly Man. And then there's Sen. Elizabeth Dole, an accomplished public servant and Chanel suit fan. A McCain-Dole ticket would be slightly more exciting than a Tsongas-Mondale ticket.

But hold on: Why are we so quickly abandoning Governor Palin? I mean, what could be more genius than a pregnant vice presidential candidate? I'm totally on board... as long as the baby is cute.

B. Brandon Barker is the Minister of Culture.