Lesson For Obama: Complaining About Racism Is Racist!

The main job of the American President is to renounce everybody and everything he or she has encountered over a lifetime.

All three leading candidates spend most of their time proving they're "tested" and "ready" for this particular job challenge by constantly saying they renounce this or that person or statement or thing or belief.

John McCain had to renounce some wingnut preacher who wants the Gays to be made illegal, and Hillary sort of halfway renounced her best friend Eliot Spitzer who loves hookers more than anything, but it was Barack Obama who really had to do the renouncing this week, because white conservatives find it very racist when black people talk about racism.

The same nuts who were calling Obama a Secret Muslim not so long ago are suddenly more than ready to acknowledge his Christianity. Why? Because he goes to a church that used to have an angry black minister who is angry about things! And we all know that's racist.

The Rev. Jeremiah Wright Jr. has left his "spiritual adviser" role in the Obama campaign after people dug up some videotapes showing the angry minister being angry about black people being called what white people can only type as the "N word."

This same revered is also apparently angry about how white people kept black people as slaves for the first hundred years of this country's existence, and how black people are still disproportionately poor and disproportionately in prison.

It is obviously racist for black people to complain about things like slavery and racism, and it is extra racist of Barack Obama to know a black person who would have the nerve to complain about slavery and racism. This is why white conservatives demanded that Obama apologize and also renounce this minister -- and it's a good thing he distanced himself from Rev. Wright, otherwise a lot of white conservatives would think twice about voting for Barack!

And this isn't the first time someone close to Senator Obama had some history of mentioning race or racism. Just last month, we learned his wife Michele wrote a thesis paper at Princeton about racism against black people. Doesn't Barack Obama know any white people?

But did the Revered Wright do anything that was even worse than being racistly against racism? You bet! This angry man had the nerve to basically steal Ron Paul's entire foreign policy! According to the Rev. Wright (and Ron Paul), the United States somehow "deserved" the 9/11 attacks just because the United States has bombed and invaded and taken over whatever country we wanted for more than a century now.

That's so incredibly racist! Everybody knows -- as the late great Jerry Falwell and his not-yet-dead partner Pat Robertson told us on the teevee -- that America deserved 9/11 because we have all these gays and abortions and feminists and civil-rights lawyers.



Let's hope Barack Obama has learned his lesson: If he wants to be president, then he'll need to surround himself with the right kind of dingbat intolerant preachers -- people like George W. Bush's best Jesus buddy Billy Graham, who says Jews are the real problem in America, and John McCain's spiritual adviser nutcases Rod Parsley and John Hagee, who will bravely rid the world of everything they hate: Muslims, Adulterers, Jews, Homosexuals, Liberals and Catholics.

Here is a crazy idea all the presidential candidates may want to consider: If you want to be religious, maybe keep your religion at home or in church where it belongs, and keep your "spiritual advisers" there, too.

Ken Layne is editor of the D.C. gossip blog Wonkette.

Who is the biggest religious nut advising a presidential campaign?

McCain's John HageeObama's Jeremiah WrightMcCain's Rod ParsleyWhoever Hillary consultsMcCain's Jerry FalwellVote