Can't Win

The race for the White House has turned increasingly speculative. We've ditched all policy questions at the side of the road in favor of idyll musing as to which candidate has the best, or worst, chance of actually winning. The substantive reasons why John McCain, Barack Obama, or Hillary Clinton should win or lose have happily been traded in for whatever is handy and effective. Global food shortage? Who cares when we've got lapel pins? What matters, you see, is that we opinionators craft what sounds like a plausible reason why the person we happen to dislike is going to go down in flames.

A daily cacophony of Op-Ed writers spouts forth arguments diagnosing the fatal flaws of his or her enemies. Obama cannot win because of his many distractions: Rev. Wright, Tony Rezko, and terming rural Americans "bitter". Also, he hasn't won any big states, he has failed to "seal the deal," and some white people suddenly don't like him. Hillary Clinton can't win because she distorted her trip to Bosnia, she's making a dirty play for Michigan and Florida delegates to be seated, without those states it's mathematically impossible for her to claim victory, and because she was first lady when her husband told those lies about Monica Lewinsky. John McCain is just too old to win, and he said that, if necessary, American troops might be in Iraq for 100 years, and he has a temper, and we don't know how much money his wife has, and everybody hates Republicans this year, so there's just no way he'll be president.


Well, here's a newsflash. Despite what many in the press corps claim in their well-crafted essays, despite the best efforts of the readers of blogs who cut and paste 50 definitive reasons why candidate X hasn't got a snowball's chance in hell, any one of the three remaining Senators has a legitimate shot. For whatever reason, we Americans enjoy being told who is going to win a game before the game is done, or even played, for that matter. Perhaps thinking that we have a handle on what is going to happen helps alleviate stress. But when it comes right down to it, none of us knows how this election will really end up. And all the hot air expelled over who can't possibly win is worse than the CO2 emitted from the backside of a cow. Argue till you're blue in the face about who you think deserves to be the next president. But don't tell me who can't win.