Help! I'm Obsessed with Sarah Palin!!

It's been only a week and I've already earned a degree in Palintology. I know way too much about this woman: her education, her eyewear, the origin of her children's names, her religion, her ex-brother-in-law, the number of broken bones she's sustained. Did you know that Sarah plays the flute? And that her husband Todd braids 7-year old Piper's hair?

I just watched Greta Van Susteren's hour-long special on Sarah and am waiting for CNN's. Does anyone know which digital cable package includes the Sarah Palin Channel?

Obviously I'm not alone. The web is burning up with amateur Palintologists searching for artifacts that will shed light on this woman -- authentic pieces of information that will flesh out this authentic iconoclast. (Whoever she is, she's unlike anyone else we've seen in American politics.)

There are two true originals in this race: Barack Obama and Sarah Palin. It's been two years since the Obamarama began, so we've been able to pace ourselves with the Illinois senator. But Palin has just burst onto the scene. And there are barely enough days left before the election to satisy our curiosity.

Some assorted thoughts/questions (synapses firing too quickly to write more cogently):

Miss Oprah Regrets

Honesty and plain talk have always been the coins of Oprah's realm. (She's a rich lady; she gets more than one coin in her realm.) Her excuse for not having Palin on her show is specious and disappointing: she says she's not using her show to promote any candidates. Now that's parsing.

Oprah should have Palin on the show and, if she wants, debate the lady. It's will satisfy Oprah's Republican and Independent fans, showcase a woman who's become a national obsession, and blow the roof off ratings-wise. A win-win-win.

McCain-Palin = Eisenhower-Nixon?

Is this the best comparison? Eisenhower was a war hero whose party affiliation was in question up until he threw his hat in the ring for the 1952 election. (Eisenhower, by the way, was the last president to wear a hat.) Likewise McCain has never been a doctrinaire Republican. In fact rumors persist that he considered running as John Kerry's veep in 2004.

Eisenhower chose Senator Richard Nixon, a red meat conservative and member of the House Un-American Activities Committee, to shore up the party's base -- much like McCain has done with Palin.

McCain-Palin = Charles-Diana?

Have you heard all the chatter about Palin overshadowing McCain at the RNC? Well it's true. So will McCain become consumed with jealousy, just as Charles grew to hate Diana because she was so loved?

Sarah Palin's Triple Crown

She's on the cover of three of America's most important magazines this week. No, I'm not referring to the fading Time, Newsweek or U.S. News. Palin graces the covers of People, Us Weekly and OK!. As I mentioned last week (before the covers were published), she has the makings of a tabloid superstar: looks, power and problems. This will only help the GOP ticket. Tabloid superstars are rarely disliked and usually objects of sympathy or empathy. (See: Kathie Lee Gifford, Naomi Judd, Elizabeth Taylor.) Most Americans don't care about politics - certainly not on a day-to-day basis - so tabloid superstar status is a boon. (Bill Clinton was never more popular than when he became a tabloid A-lister during the Lewinsky scandal.

Of course it's ironic that McCain and Palin are running as anti-celebrities when Palin's the one who's displaced Britney from the covers of all these magazines!

The Reagan Connection

No, I'm not going to be the 4,000th person to compare her speech-making talent to Reagan's. There's another way in which she's similar to the Gipper - and it's why she's so formidable:

She's a happy person. And happy people are likable. They're magnets.

Whatever problems Palin may have, she's comfortable in her skin. It was evident in her performance and when the family assembled on stage. You can't fake that. And when 7 year old Piper licked her hand and stroked baby Trig's head? i suddenly felt a contraction. (And her heroic decision to birth a child with Down's syndrome is impossible not to praise.)

Friends of mine keep calling Palin "scary." If Democrats want to defeat McCain-Palin, they better embargo the word "scary." It's a lazy, meaningless swipe and didn't work against Reagan. Plus the person deploying the swipe usually comes off as unhappy. Better to take a cue from Obama and dispassionately pick apart her ideas and record. Because if it's a personality contest, Happy Warrior Palin will trounce the competition.