Predictions From Brandon

It's been real and it's been fun, but we're coming to the end of the 2008 LOLection® in a major way. After months of analyzing campaign song selections, viral videos and heartfelt musical tributes, here are my predictions for Tuesday night.

6pm: Polls close across the country. The women from 'The View' are quarantined.

6:05pm: San Francisco voters overwhelmingly approve 'Proposition R', which renames its sewage treatment plant after George W. Bush.

6:09pm: Greenville, Mississippi overwhelmingly approves its 'Proposition Y', which renames its sewage plant after Mr. Happiness.

7pm: For a heartstopping moment, voting machines in West Virginia call the election for Disaster Girl, then quickly correct it to John McCain.

7:23pm: Something happens to Paula Poundstone at a casino in Connecticut. We break to a commercial.

9:14pm: Someone suggests popping in Season Two of 'Entourage' and everyone cheers.

1am: Sen. Barack Obama does not win. At his victory rally Sen. John McCain--in an hysterical, high-pitch voice--starts singing 'Pink Houses'.

B. Brandon Barker can also be found here.