Predictions From Tommy

This is kind of uncomfortable for me to share, but I'm kind of into the whole "91/2 weeks" food thing. An assortment of paddles is always nice...(moves hand to nonexistent earpiece) sorry, it's not predilections?...Oh, predictions, got it. Awk-ward.

The 2008 election has been a long, strange trip indeed, and I would expect its terminus to be no less strange. Here, then, are some of my predictions for Election Day: 2008.

1. Barack Obama will win in an electoral landslide. Huge turnout in every state, combined with the crush of new voters, will flip tossup states to Obama. Final score - Obama: 355 McCain: 183. Ron Paul will win the popular vote.

2. The Democrats will gain 11 Senate and 30 House seats. Again, I think the factor here will be a crush of new voters, voting a straight Democratic ticket. Low-end estimates up until now have been the Republicans whistling past the graveyard, while the media held their hands.

3. Obama will lose Florida. 17% of Sunshine State voters will leave their polling places with the mistaken belief that all they had to do was speak their answer very clearly into the voting machine.

4. Fox News will call the election for McCain at 8:01 pm. In fact, they have already taped the segment. They will spend the next four years accusing anyone who says "President Obama" of "spin."

5. Joe Lieberman will show up for work Wednesday in an Obama t-shirt, with brand new vanity plates that read, "Y35 W3 C4N."

6. Sarah Palin will sign a deal with Fox to star in a new game show spinoff, "Are You Less Elite Than a 5th Grader?" Joe the Plumber will be the show's first champ, winning $251,000.00, causing him to cry.

7. John McCain will be appointed head of the White House's exterior security detail, and will keep anyone and everyone off of the White House lawn..

8. On Wednesday, President Bush will demand that Congress enact the "Presidential Inauguration Protection Act," which postpones the Inauguration indefinitely. Initially, the Democrats oppose the new law, but when Republicans say it makes them weak on terror, 14 Democratic Senators reach across the aisle to support the new law.

So, there you have it. The final result:
President Elect – Barack Obama
Senate Composition – 61 Democrats 38 Republicans 1 Independent
House of Representatives – 265 Democrats 170 Republicans

Tommy Christopher co-hosts "Unusable Signal" , on BlogTalkRadio Tues - Thur at 9pm, and Fri, & Sat at 11pm. Click here for the Unusable Signal homepage.