Eric Holder's Attorney General Application Form

At this point it seems pretty clear that former Clinton Attorney Eric Holder will be tapped to be the new Attorney General. What we don't know is if the fuzzy caterpillar crawling across his face will be named deputy attorney general, or is simply a sign of a very cold winter.


Selected questions from the Attorney General application form:

1. The ATF has a cult leader and members of his extended family holed up in a compound.

Do you?

A: Send in snipers.

B: Send in the tanks.

C: Play loud music.

D: Take all blame and make sure no responsibility gets to the president.

E. All of the above.


2. You're holding a press conference, but the usual place is in front of naked statuary.

Do you?

A: Decide not to launch an anti-porn crusade right then and there.

B: Cover up the boobies.

C: Move the location.

D: Inadvertently give a lesson in classical art appreciation.


3. A Cuban minor makes it to Florida, but mom is dead and the Cuban dad wants him to go back to the wonderful world of socialism in Castro's Cuba (with free healthcare!)

Do you?

A: Send them all to a taping for Dr. Phil

B: Bid the rights to Barbara Walters.

C. Peel the Dad away from Castro's goons and ask him if this is what he really wants.

D. Send in the stormtroopers, and lose Florida in the next election