Obama Pool Party

As a response to this cold-molasses-slow news cycle, I began posting, last week, the humorously dry and event-free pool reports that are being released by the President-Elect's office. I eventually started adding my own running commentary.

I've decided to make this a weekly feature, rather than doing running updates. In the interest of post-partisanship, I've also asked my Unusable Signal co-host, Caleb Howe , to pitch in with his commentary from the right. He also made the excellent photo that accompanies this piece.

For the uninitiated, you can see a definition of pool reports here, but basically, media outlets select one person to cover the subject, and then all media outlets can share the report, "spread the wealth," as it were.

Here are the past week's pool reports (earliest to most recent), with my comments in blue, Caleb's in red.

Sent: Mon Nov 17 11:01:45 2008
Subject: Pool Report # 2 Pool Report 2

The President-elect departed his residence at 9:35 a.m. and arrived at 9:47 a.m. at his transition offices at the Kluczynski Federal Building. This is the site where he and Sen. John McCain will meet in about an hour. McCain has reportedly arranged to receive a cellphone call within the first few minutes of the meeting, so that he can bail if Obama "turns out not to be cute." Obama will be accompanied by William Ayers and Jeremiah Wright, in an unprecedented display of nah nah nuh boo boo.

Your pool tried to get the President-elect to answer a question on the auto industry bail out, but was shouted down by the pool sherpas. Mr. Obama finally said with a smile, "You're incorrigible." He then flipped his hair back and giggled.

Sitting around a coffee table, with three U.S. flags behind them, were: Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-S.C.) Sen. John McCain (R-Ariz.), President-elect Barack Obama and Rep. Rahm Emanuel (D-Ill.), the chief-of-staff-designate. They argued briefly over who gets to be Joy Behar. ... in the role of Whoopi Goldberg, Senator McCain joked about what it was like being married to Mike Tyson and being the first black woman to win best actress.

Your pool was in and out in about three minutes. That's what she said.
Just long enough to cover everything the President-elect knows about the auto industry, and still boil an egg.
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Monday, November 17, 2008 3:06 PM

Addendum:

Couple of things: all times listed in the pool report today are central standard time, and at the request of a colleague back in Washington, a few note on the body language:

It appeared the four principals had been joking as we entered the room. The presence of a rubber chicken, fake poo, and a seltzer bottle strewn on the floor contributed to this impression. They seemed like they were loose and comfortable with each other. Well, Emanuel's loose. He'll nail anything that stands still long enough. The President-elect and Rahm were clearly in a good place (Xanadu? Valhalla?), joking and smiling with each and your pool. There were, indeed, smiles on all four faces. The press pool, of course, is composed of creepy, faceless androids.
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Mon Nov 17 19:14:42 2008


The President-elect departed the Kluczynski Federal Building 5:46 p.m. CST and headed for home. The motorcade arrived at his Hyde Park abode at 6:02 p.m. Can you think of more words for "house?"

We have a FULL LID. The constant references to "Lids" reminds me of the Very Special Episode of Diff'rent Strokes where Willis becomes a reefer addict. The show explains, at some point, that the slang term for $50 worth of marijuana is "lid." In the subsequent decades, I have never heard this repeated, or heard the term used in context.

G'nite from breezy town.
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Tuesday, November 18, 2008 9:52 AM

Workout. No news. Unlike the rest of the nail-bitingly thrilling pool reports.

The motorcade - six black SUVs, led by two Chicago police cars - pulled away from Obama's home at 8.11 a.m., arrivng five minutes later at the Regents Park apartments.

We rolled back at out at 9.35, arriving home five minutes later. We rolled? Is that some kind of racist rap reference?
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Tuesday, November 18, 2008 11:28 AM

Obama is at his office in the federal building. Arrived here at 11.23 a.m., having left home at 10.58 a.m.
We have a temporary lid, until 3.30 p.m.
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Tue Nov 18 19:31:53 2008


After police cleared Clark Street of traffic, we rolled from the federal building at 5.53 p.m. There was some pro-Obama cheering as we neared the house, where we arrived at 6.10 p.m.

There is a lid. A reader emailed me and informed me that a "lid" of marijuana equals one ounce.
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Wed Nov 19 08:46:41 2008


At 7.39 am. The motorcade headed to. Regents park for Obamas daily work out. A man on the sidewalk held up his young bundled up a child to wave. The morning is cold and gray with whipping wind. .. It was ominous, scary. Biden was right ... something wicked this way comes.
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Wednesday, November 19, 2008 9:07 AM Subject: Re: Pool report AM

9.06 AM With the sun now shining Obama heads out from regents park gym. Interestingly, gym memberships have longer terms than most presidents do. I guarantee Obama still has to pay that gym after he goes to DC.

People walking dogs amidst swirling fall leaves in the park adjacent to the regents park complex pay no mind to the motorcade. They're too busy looking out for cops when they don't scoop. Agents use binoculars to look at nearby high rise roofs.
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Wednesday, November 19, 2008 9:54 AM

Motorcade left Obamas home at 9:35 am and arrived at transition office 9:48am. Lid declared until 3:30. Smoke it or pass it, dude! On adams street people turned to look, wave and cheer as motorcade passed. A crowd of young people threw arms in the air and cheered loudly. Doctors at Chicago's Mercy Hospital are working tirelessly to re-attach the wayward limbs.
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Wednesday, November 19, 2008 4:12 PM

4:03pm Crowds gathered on corners as the motorcade of 5 black SUVs emerged rapidly from a garage below the federal building housing obamas transition office. Many were singing "doo-wop" songs, or playing dice, or gathering around a young "newsie" who was shouting, "Extra, extra!" Police bocked downtown traffic for them to proceed toward lakeshore dr where they stopped at lights before heading south toward hyde park. That's not a typo, police were micro-brewing beer in the middle of the street.
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5:03pm. One or both daughters have a performance this evening, pool is headed north on lake shore dr from the Obama home., where Obama has spent about 45 minutes.
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Wednesday, November 19, 2008 5:54 PM

Pool. Is outside lookinglass theatre on chicago avenue near water tower place, where the performance is taking place. No more details available at the moment. I can use articles, or not. I'm a pool reporter, Beeyotch!
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Wed Nov 19 19:30:26 2008

6:20pm The Obamas arrived home after the performance where reportedly Malia performed and the whole family attended. They were there for about 40-45 minutes total. At 6:27 PM, Simon Cowell emerged onto the sidewalk via forcible defenestration.
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Thursday, November 20, 2008 10:23 AM

Uneventful morning, as far as your pool could tell. President-elect Obama left his house at 8:24 am CT and arrived at Regents Park apartment building for work-out at 8:29 am CT. He departed at 10:04 am CT and we were back at his house at 10:12 am CT. The preceding took place between 8:24 am and 10:12 am, on the day of the California Presidential primary.
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Thu Nov 20 12:15:24 2008

We departed the Obama house at 10:56 am CT and arrived transition offices downtown at 11:11 am. People alongside downtown streets cheered and waved as motorcade passed. Several shouts of "I can see! I can see!" were noted.
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Thu Nov 20 20:02:05 2008

The motorcade left the transition offices at 5:25 pm CT en route the Regents Park apartments, where we arrived at 5:38 pm CT. We are told that the president-elect went to the apartment of his friend, Mike Signator, to have his hair cut. We departed the Regents at 6:48 pm CT and arrived to his house at 6:51 pm CT. Seven minutes later, give or take say 30 seconds, we have a lid. During those missing 30 seconds, I traveled through a rip in the time-space continuum, where I lived a lifetime's worth of adventure, before returning to Chicago.
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Fri Nov 21 09:44:14 2008

President-elect Obama left his Hyde Park home in his motorcade at 7:29am. He arrived at Regents Park apartment building at 7:35am for his morning workout. He left Regents at 8:33 am and arrived back home to change clothes at 8:38 am. He did so in a local phone booth.

Pool was too far away to see him, and not many people were out on the streets on the way to Regents. A few of theose who were stopped and watched the motorcade go by.

On the way back to the president-elect's home some people waiting at stop lights honked their horns as the motorcade went by. Obama mischieviously got out, ran over to the motorists, pounded the hoods of their cars, and shouted, "I'm walkin' here!"

The president-elect is expected to next head to transition headquarters where he will be for an hour or so before leaving to make a local stop. No details yet about the nature of the stop, but the president-elect is expected to spend 20 minutes to a half hour there. Speculation includes possible martinizing.
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Friday, November 21, 2008 9:28 AM

President-elect Obama lef his Hyde Park home in his motorcade at 9:08am. He arrived at transition headquarters in downtown at 9:21am.

People along the downtown streets cheered and waved as the motorcade went by. One woman was jumping up and down. Now, if she had only jumped up, and not down, I'd have a real story. Another man was videotaping the motorcade as it rounded a corner toward headquarters.

There is a lid until 11:30am, when pool has been told to return to bus - presumably to head out for the president-elect's local stop.
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Fri Nov 21 13:26:23 2008

President-elect Obama left his transition headquarters in downtown at 12:24 pm.

His motorcade is heading to a lunch stop called Manny's. He is expected to order and greet some patrons. "Hi, patrons! I'll take 3 of you, over easy, with a side of toast."
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Fri Nov 21 14:16:41 2008

President-elect Barack Obama arrived at Manny's Cafeteria and Deli at 12:29 pm to a crowd of about 25 people waiting outside.

Obama and Valerie Jarett walked to the front counter of the deli. 7 men in white hats stood behind the counter waiting to make sandwiches. 7 men in black hats stood on the other side of the counter, waiting for the men in the white hats to "draw."

Obama shook hands with Ken Raskin the restaurant's owner. Raskin's father, Manny, founded the Chicago institution. Just to be clear, by "shook hands with," I'm saying that the two men simultaneously began doing "jazz hands."

"Rahm Emanuel sends his regards. I ordered him his corned beef," Obama told Raskin.

Obama signed a photo of himself with Mayor Daley after he won his Senate election in 2006. The photo was for Raskin.

"Alright, let me get my food," Obama said.

Someone suggested he get the mayo and mustard mix on his corned beef, and he said he would.

Asked by reporter what he ordered, Obama said, "we got the corned beef."

Asked by a reporter, "What do you think about the auto industry? and Obama smiled, said "I got the corned beef," and walked on to greet people in the restaurant.

The restaurant was packed. People had cell phone cameras out. They swarmed the president-elect, congratulating him on the election.

Patrons abandoned their plates of macaroni and cheese, blueberry pie, corned beef, dill pickles and chocolate chip cheesecake to get near the president-elect. That made it easy for me to sweep in and sample their leavings.

"I love you," one of them said.

"I love you back," Obama said. "But I want to see other people," he continued.

One woman hugged him.

Obama left with 2 cherry pies and 3 corned beef sandwiches. The bill was $48.34. He paid cash.

Outside more people approched ObamaM he shook more hands. He went to get in his Surburban but turned around to shake more hands.

Lef Manny's at 12:45pm. Arrived at tranition headquarters at 12:53pm.

Lid until 5pm.