Obama Skipping Church

Politico has a story up that's sure to re-ignite the "Barack Obama is a secret Muslim!" conspiracy theories. You see, it has been a while since Obama has prayed to the Christian God inside of an official church. Since quitting Trinity United back in June in the wake of the Jeremiah Wright escapades, the Obamas have yet to settle on a new house of worship. Here's the shocking lede:

President-elect Barack Obama has yet to attend church services since winning the White House earlier this month, a departure from the example of his two immediate predecessors.

On the three Sundays since his election, Obama has instead used his free time to get in workouts at a Chicago gym.

So, has Obama forsaken Jesus in the pursuit of rock hard abs? Or does his Yoga mat double as an Islamic prayer rug? Who can say for sure? But Politico apparently seems concerned that Obama might not be setting the right example. After all, it points out, W. and Bubba both found time to hit the pews while they waited to be sworn in on their Korans Bibles.

What's the conveniently-true explanation that Barack HUSSEIN Obama is putting forth? Take it away, unnamed Obama "transition-aide":

"Because they have a great deal of respect for places of worship, they do not want to draw unwelcome or inappropriate attention to a church not used to the attention their attendance would draw."

God damn, America! Wake up! Don't you see that you've set a gym rat lose in the White House? The horror! Cover your children's eyes lest his example be followed and childhood obesity rates begin to drop faster than so many discarded moral teachings. Think of the throngs of youngsters we'll be losing while we await confirmation of the Obamas new D.C. church.

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Then again, could it be that the president-elect has learned from his own mistakes and is actually out there vetting his next pastor?

Anywhere the Obamas choose to worship, observers told ABCNews.com, will likely be scrutinized for a political message. The Obama transition staff would not comment on which church the family was considering or when it would announce a decision.

Questions asked might include, does your church's preacher have any fiery sermons captured on video tape? So, here we are, stuck in limbo as we wait to learn where Obama will worship. Until then, the president-elect will keep on riding his Stair-master to Heaven instead.


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