Now Hear This: Ann Coulter's Jaw Wired Shut

For the next few weeks, fans of Ann Coulter--anyone?--will have to rely on Lindsay Lohan to provide mind-bioggling sound bites.

Because of a nasty fall last month, says the New York Post's Page Six, the 46-year-old will have her jaw wired shut.

News is scant at the moment, but Page Six writes, "WE HEAR...THAT although we didn't think it would be possible to silence Ann Coulter, the leggy reactionary broke her jaw and the mouth that roared has been wired shut..."

Enjoy the silence while you can. She'll be back in a few weeks to record the audio for her latest book, The New Ann Coulter.

B. Brandon Barker wrote the novel Operation EMU and can also be found here.