CNN Needs More Interesting Black People

Too blunt? Too bad. I don't patronize my readers by pussyfooting around hot button issues like CNN or race.

The fact is that CNN, in the interest of diversity, has an unprecedented number of black faces on the air. This is good. But too many of these anchors and pundits are boring. Have they been coached to tone down their personalities, in order to seem newsy? Perhaps. But they do so at their own risk:

My sources tell me that over 20 contracts are up the day after Barack Obama's inauguration. (Expect national unemployment figures to soar when the Election Center's army of pundits is decommissioned.) So jobs really are at stake.

With that in mind, this post is meant not as an attack -- but as constructive advice to those less than scintillating personalities on how they can stay on payroll during these trying economic times.

First, those African-Americans at CNN who have it going on. They don't need any advice:


DONNA BRAZILE
She puts the Cajun in CNN. Raised in Louisiana, this saucy Earth Mother became involved in local politics at the age of nine and has been "Cooking with Grease" (the title of her memoir) ever since. She can be funny. She can be ferocious. And of course she occupies a permanent seat in the Election Center's front row, thank you very much.


SUZANNE MALVEAUX
CNN's stunning and icy cold White House Correspondent hearkens back to Hollywood's greatest Noir Bad Girls. A black Bacall. A sexier Stanwyck. Rhonda Fleming with a reporter's notebook. But as great looking as she is, her sex appeal comes from her smarts. A warning to any male interviewee who thinks he can play Malveaux: she will play you. Every time. (The title of her inevitable biopic? Basic Cable Instinct.)



T.J. HOLMES
The studly Razorback with the shaved head used to report from the street. Now he's brought street to the anchor desk: "I'm gonna throw it over to my man Ed Henry at the White House. Ed, buddy, what's up? ... (and after the report) ... Aight, we'll check back with you later on." Unorthodox? Yes. And thank goodness.



ROLAND MARTIN
CNN's most operatic pundit is never afraid to chew the scenery. But his aria on the night of Barack Obama's victory was pitch perfect. Like any great diva, he is either loved or hated -- but never ignored!

(SOLEDAD O'BRIEN is not included in the list above since she is half-Cuban. She will be included in my upcoming list of "CNN's Best and Brightest Blatinas.")

OKAY, now for those anchors and personalities who need help:


DON LEMON
He's an Emmy and Edward R. Murrow award winning journalist, the latter for his coverage of the D.C. Sniper. (As someone with family in the area, I thank him!) But as a daytime co-anchor alongside peppy gal-pal Kyra Phillips (the network's Gidget), he seems overly restrained. Come on, Don, let that personality shine. Let's turn a Lemon into Lemonade!



FREDERICKA WHITFIELD
I remember the Fredericka Whitfield of NBC. A hard news version of Jayne Kennedy, she reported fearlessly from the field - throwing to anchor Tom Brokaw ... and leaving him breathless. Now she's CNN's Saturday morning anchor/babysitter -- and as bored as a Real Housewife of Atlanta. Phylicia Rashad without the fire. And her wardrobe? As edgy as Murphy Brown's. My advice: get out of the weekend morning ghetto, girl -- and back on the street. Bring back "Fred"!



AMY HOLMES
With her corkscrew curls and megawatt smile, this conservative commentator should be riding the goodship lollipop to her own show. But perhaps in a bid to seem like the "nice" conservative, she all too often comes off as bland. (It doesn't help that she worked for Bill Frist, the blandest Majority Leader ever.) Amy is smart - and her background is fascinating. For heaven's sake, she was born in Zambia, though you'd never know it from her performance. C'mon, Amy, give us some zip, some zing. Show us some Zambia!



TONY HARRIS
Harris began his career as a radio disc jockey -- and you hear that in every story he reads. He's the only anchor who can report on a genocide and make it sound like a Barenaked Ladies concert ticket giveaway. He's likable and goodness knows he's got energy. So no, he's not boring. He just needs to lower his voice once in a while.