10 White House Guests Who Displaced The Obamas

3 years ago

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As Tommy reported yesterday, the First Family-Elect requested to move into the Blair House early so the children wouldn't miss two weeks of school. However, the request was denied by the White House on the grounds that the guest house is full. Makes you wonder what important figures have the place locked down. Tommy and Caleb have a few ideas about the guests at the Blair House who simply can't be replaced by the Obamas. Read on to see them all.

Click on window thumbnails to see inside the rooms.
(Guest descriptions in blue are Tommy's, red are Caleb's.)

Tony the Tiger:
Bush apparently invited the bengal bon vivant, mistakenly thinking he was the Exxon mascot. Now, they can't get him to leave.

Ken Lay:
The founders of kenlayisalive.org will be gratified at this bit of vindication. The site posts sightings of the departed Enron CEO, but I guess they missed this one.

Obama Clone:
This obedient Obama doppelganger was created waaay back when Bush was still interested in retaining power. Now, he's stuck with the freak. Rumor has it the O clone is shacked up with Bush's backup plan, a HillBot, and the two rarely leave the room, if you catch my drift.

Scooter from The Muppet Show:
Another case of mistaken identity, as Bush thought he was inviting Scooter Libby. Blair House staff say that the freeloading Muppet bit player has run through the DC Madam's entire roster.

Ann Coulter:
The outspoken conservative pundit is rarely seen outside the room, usually sitting in a chair near the window. A nervous young man has been seen conversing with her through her door, calling her "Mother."

The Big Three CEOs:
They refuse to leave until someone gives them a check. Meanwhile, they're paying three times the going rate and only in the room 15 minutes a day. The rest of the day Toyota uses the room for free office space.

Dick Cheney:
Bush made Cheney move into the Blair house in 2003 after seeing "The Blair Witch Project" for the first time. He figured, if anyone could take out the witch ... Cheney has since shot seven different guest house employees in their backs for acting "witchy". Scooter the Muppet is facing charges in all seven incidents.

John Edwards:
Well he had to find somewhere to hide! No one wants to kick him out, though. His pay-per-view fees are putting the employee's kids through college. Hey, his name is Mudd, after all.

Governor Blagojevich:

Apparently, "a deal's a deal."

Obama Girl:
She claims it's her super hero hideout, but I'm wondering if maybe Tommy was right all along and she's actually a closet republican. Either way, I'm organizing an intensive closet search to find out.

Click on window thumbnails to see inside the rooms.

Gallery: 10 White House Guests Who Displaced The Obamas

Filed Under: George W. Bush, Barack Obama, Featured Stories, Dick Cheney, Humor

Tagged: big 3, big three, Big3, BigThree, blagojevich, blair house, BlairHouse, john edwards, JohnEdwards, ken lay, KenLay, michelle obama, MichelleObama, Obama girl, ObamaGirl, rod blagojevich, RodBlagojevich, scooter libby, ScooterLibby

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