Atheists and Christians United in Their Disapproval of Rick Warren

Barack Obama's pending inauguration has brought together Americans of all backgrounds and beliefs, proving that despite our many differences, we can all unite together under a common cause: Hating pastor Rick Warren.

Warren's appointment as inauguration invocation-delivery boy has angered:

* Gay rights activists, who didn't appreciate the pastor comparing them to child-fondling incestuous polygamists.

* Health practitioners, who have scorned Warren since he awarded George W. Bush with an AIDS-conquering medal, despite knowing that Bush's "abstinence-only" mandate has actually increased unprotected sex in Africa.

* Harley riders, lumberjacks and relief pitchers, who are angry with Warren for making the Van Dyke goatee infinitely less bad-ass.

Now you can add atheists to the list of Warren haters. According to the LA Times, the Secular Coalition for America has written to Obama, calling Warren "intolerant" and asking:

"Who on your inaugural dias will express the viewpoints of not only the tens of millions of nontheistic Americans, but the majority of citizens who believe there is now too much religious influence in our politics and government?"

To answer your question, Secular Coalition for America, it certainly won't be Obama himself, who spoke openly at Warren's church about being saved by Christ. And it won't be Joe Biden, who wants America to know he was moved by a vision of a blue-collar, hard-scrabble Jesus in a Scranton, PA diner mere hours after his VP nomination.

But there are atheists available if Obama is interested. Rep. Pete Stark (D-CA) immediately comes to mind. So does the late Robert Frost, who does pretty well at presidential inaugurations.

And then there's always Mitt Romney, who is technically a Mormon but will do literally anything to get on the stage at inauguration day. Being the ceremony's atheist representative would be a fitting finish to his election cycle of utter pandering.