| Candidate | Pros | Cons | Odds of Appointment |
| Rep. Jan Schakowsky |
Seems untarnished by the scandal. A known commodity statewide. |
America may not be ready for a Jewish Senator. |
3 : 1 |
| Sec. Tammy Duckworth |
Female, Asian-American war hero. |
Electing Iraq veterans is so 2006. |
7 : 1 |
| Rep. Jesse Jackson, Jr. |
Name recognition, oratorical skills, $500,000. |
To call him tainted is an insult to Chinese baby formula.
|
0 : -1000 |
Caroline Kennedy
|
Polling reveals that 78% of New Yorkers believe she'd make an excellent senator from Illinois. |
Unclear if she can ever be dragged from her beloved Syracuse. |
19 : 63 |
Mike Ditka
|
Big hair, cigars, a lifetime supply of Levitra... you couldn't custom-build a better senator. |
Is a liability to trade nuclear arms for the draft rights to Ricky Williams. |
46 : 10 |
| Gov. Rod Blagojevich |
He's got this thing and it's [bleeping] golden! |
Will be preoccupied with his duties as Secretary of HHS, Ambassador to England and chairman of several corporate boards. |
25 : Life |