To Barack Obama: A nice Hawaiian vacation, hopefully with no talk of bailouts, Bush, or Blagojevich. Rest up!
To John McCain: congratulations, you won't be president and can just concentrate on doing the job you love, being a pain-in-the-ass senator. Plus governor Napolitano will be director of Homeland Security and thus not a threat to your senate seat in 2010.
To Sarah Palin: Hopefully a healthy first grandchild. Also a job as the governor of the state in likely the best financial shape in the country. Also, continued stratospheric favorability among conservatives.
To Joe Biden:
A second dog! This one hopefully won't cause any controversy.
To Hillary Clinton: Congratulations, you're the new Secretary of State, too bad it only cost you
$13 million of your own money to get it, but at least, unlike Joe Biden, you have actual responsibilities.
...
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