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Six Candidates for Ken Salazar's Colorado Senate Seat
In a story that's getting all too familiar, Barack Obama has raided the pantry (insert Mike Huckabee joke here) and nabbed another prominent Democrat for his cabinet. Yes, Ken Salazar's appointment as Interior Secretary means yet another Senator chosen by a Democratic governor.Now the man of the hour is Colorado's Bill Ritter, who must choose from a wide range of candidates to serve out Salazar's term. Much like we did for Illinois and New York, we offer you odds on a few top names:
| Candidate | Pros | Cons | Odds of Appointment |
|---|---|---|---|
| Rep. John Salazar | Brother of the current Senator. Statewide name recognition. | America may not be ready for a Hispanic Senator. | 2 : 1 |
| Rep. Ed Perlmutter | By sending Ted Stevens and William Jefferson to defeat, America issued a message: We want our politicians boring. | Has never publicly denied selling crack to orphans. | 7 : 1 |
| Denver Mayor John Hickenlooper | Wildly popular in Colorado's largest city. Brews his own beer. | Obama had a nice run with that "funny name" bit, but seriously folks... This is too much. | 9 : 1 |
| Rep. Tom Tancredo | Will weed out illegal immigrants from the Senate's ranks. (We're looking at you, Barbara Mikulski.) | Will have to resign in four years to assume his duties as President. | 200 : 1 |
| Rev. Ted Haggard | Has a wide open schedule. Has heard great things about Washington's hotel escort scene from David Vitter and Eliot Spitzer. | Is not a native Coloradoan, but rather was born in Indiana. | 6 : 9 |
| Former Illinois Attorney General Roland Burris | Well it's not like he's going to get the Illinois job. | He won't be taken seriously in Colorado until he shucks a couple Rocky Mountain Oysters. | 5000 : 1 |
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8 comments
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Dylan and Ethan Ris
Dylan and Ethan Ris are political humorists and veterans of Capitol Hill dating back to the mid '90s.
Comments (8)
Wish Belkin
11:50AM Jan 1st 2009
Mike Shanahan has time on his hands.
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Gia
4:00PM Jan 1st 2009
You two and Tancredo, I swear...
You guys are funny :)
You guys are funny :)
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(0) Clif Kuplen
1:48PM Jan 1st 2009
Wish Belkin11:50AMJan 1st 2009
Mike Shanahan has time on his hands.
xxx
Nah, his defense is too much like Cheney's. How about that guy in the barrel?
Mike Shanahan has time on his hands.
xxx
Nah, his defense is too much like Cheney's. How about that guy in the barrel?
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(0) brntrewesl
2:29PM Jan 1st 2009
Clif Kuplen
Each year, on New Years Day, I attempt to show empathy for unrepentant, irredeemable liberals, it’s a tradition. So, putting your shortcomings aside, I want to wish you and your family a HAPPY NEW YEAR, Clif.
I hope the President-elect will serve admirably and do his country of origin proud, whichever country that might turn out to be.
Each year, on New Years Day, I attempt to show empathy for unrepentant, irredeemable liberals, it’s a tradition. So, putting your shortcomings aside, I want to wish you and your family a HAPPY NEW YEAR, Clif.
I hope the President-elect will serve admirably and do his country of origin proud, whichever country that might turn out to be.
RATE THIS COMMENT: (0)
(0) Clif Kuplen
4:56PM Jan 1st 2009
brntrewesl2:29PMJan 1st 2009
Clif Kuplen
Each year, on New Years Day, I attempt to show empathy for unrepentant, irredeemable liberals, it’s a tradition.
xxxxx
if you still call them unrepentant and irredeemable, you're not being empathetic, you're being delusional. I feel your pain but from a distance.
xxxx
I hope the President-elect will serve admirably and do his country of origin proud, whichever country that might turn out to be.
xxxxx
thank you for the wish, and I hope you do too. Tell Benito Buon di for me.
Clif Kuplen
Each year, on New Years Day, I attempt to show empathy for unrepentant, irredeemable liberals, it’s a tradition.
xxxxx
if you still call them unrepentant and irredeemable, you're not being empathetic, you're being delusional. I feel your pain but from a distance.
xxxx
I hope the President-elect will serve admirably and do his country of origin proud, whichever country that might turn out to be.
xxxxx
thank you for the wish, and I hope you do too. Tell Benito Buon di for me.
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(0) nick
5:34PM Jan 1st 2009
Knowing this state we will such up with one of these stupid liberals.
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(0) Clif Kuplen
8:53PM Jan 1st 2009
nick5:34PMJan 1st 2009
Knowing this state we will such up with one of these stupid liberals
xxx
learn to spell if you're going to call liberals stupid or the cute girls will think you have cooties and pass notes about you.
Knowing this state we will such up with one of these stupid liberals
xxx
learn to spell if you're going to call liberals stupid or the cute girls will think you have cooties and pass notes about you.
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(0) dr jay
4:04PM Jan 2nd 2009
Sounds like it's gonna be none of the above.
http://news.aol.com/story/_a/ritter-to-nominate-bennet-to-fill-senate/n20090102135509990004
http://news.aol.com/story/_a/ritter-to-nominate-bennet-to-fill-senate/n20090102135509990004
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