Get Your Inaugural Bowie Knife, Hatchet, and Rapelling Harness Now!

The dispatches from the Presidential Inaugural Committee keep getting funnier, at least to me. Here's the latest:

The Inaugural Store is the only place where you'll find the official merchandise of the Presidential Inaugural Committee - everything from apparel and artwork to glassware emblazoned with the Inaugural seal.

All items are limited edition and available only while supplies last.

I love that, as if the merchandise could possibly be available after the supply is exhausted.

When you go to the Inaugural store, they tell you that you can get inaugural "gear" there. To me, gear is stuff that you carry in a heavily latched box or a specialized belt, with which you build, repair, or kill things. Apparently, their idea of "gear" is different.

Woodmere China's classic cup and saucer decorated with 2009 Inaugural Seal.

Are you shitting me? A tea cup? Does it come with a doll that you can invite to your tea party? Can I get an inaugural Easy Bake Oven?

They also have a section called "Runway to Change," which features inaugural "gear" by designers like Donna Karan (T-shirt: $45.00). I'm sorry, but if you're a Democrat these days, the only runway you should be referring to is the one you launch fighter jets from.

Did I miss a memo? Now that the election's over, do we just get to flaunt our arugula-loving asses for all to see? Did I take up drinking beer for nothing?

When I said I wanted the Democrats to show some balls, this wasn't what I had in mind.

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