The U.S. Senate re-convened today, but the chamber didn't seem as-- dare we say?-- harmonious as in past sessions.| Name | Range | Embarassment |
|---|---|---|
| John Ashcroft |
Baritone | Lost re-election to a dead man. Later wrote and performed "Let the Eagle Soar", a patriot's tribute to clumsy, vibrato-laden metaphors. |
![]() Jim Jeffords |
Tenor | For his back-and-forth party courtships to get a committee chairmanship, he earned the title of "the Republicans' Joe Lieberman." 'Nuff said. |
![]() Trent Lott |
Bass | Suggested that the nation "wouldn't have all these problems over the years" if it had elected Strom Thurmond, who ran for president as a segregationist in 1948. Was forced to resign as Senate Majority Leader and wandered the deserts of Washington, eventually finding work as a cat herder. |
![]() Larry Craig |
Bald Soprano |
Arrested in a Minnesota airport for soliciting toilet sex. Issued a pathetic defense: "I am not gay. I never have been gay." Declined to run for re-election, and instead will stay home in Idaho, slurping down super tubers. |


