Thousands of Inaugural Ticket-Holders Turned Away-- Including Us!

January 20, 2009 was a joyous day for America as we inaugurated just the 44th president in our great history.

At least that's what they're telling us. We spent the day in a tunnel.

As the Washington Post explains, thousands of ticket-holding patrons never made it through the gates at the Capitol, despite arriving upwards of five hours early for the swearing-in ceremony.

The only problem with the Post's report is that they quote sources claiming only 4000 were turned away. Well we can personally attest that 20,000 were denied access to the "purple section" alone. We should know! We were among them!

For those who aren't tuned in to the bizarre Twitter fad ($50 if anyone's still Twittering at the 2012 festivities), here's a recap of our day in line:

6:33- Leaving our mom's house in Bethesda to make the trek in. Wonder if nearby neighbor John Roberts needs a lift downtown.

6:59- No traffic at all to Dupont Circle. Walking from here to the Capitol grounds - 2.5 miles each way. First urge to pee sets in.

7:33- Arrive at the Capitol. Chaotic around the gates. Line leads into the deep, dark Third Street tunnel. Not how I'd imagined this in my head...

7:40- The line is nearly a mile long and 4-10 people wide. First thoughts of bailing out crossing our minds.

7:47- Line ends on the other side of the tunnel. No port-a-potties to be found.

7:59- Just relieved myself under an overpass. Sorry, Earth! People on tour buses above can see me, but they've already seen the new prez. with his shirt off, so anything goes for the next 4 years.

8:03- Mooooooooo.

8:24- Unsubstantiated rumor passing through the line that Oprah is in Washington today!!

8:49- We'd better get close to the Capitol. How else will we be able to egg Joe Lieberman?

9:01- We're back in the tunnel. Hope none of the icicles on the ceiling decide to fall.

9:22- What will we see first? America's first black president or someone who's actually working this event?

9:58- We can see the light at the end of the tunnel. Figuratively, because the Bush era is over. Literally, because we are waiting in a tunnel.

10:07- The problem with this line is that we're missing all the news. Anyone hear if Bush pardoned O.J.?

10:10- If this line led us into a slaughterhouse there really wouldn't be anything we could do about it.

10:18- Moooooooooo!

10:22- Unverified sighting of Joe Biden nodding along to his iPod near the front of the line.

10:31- Attention conspiracy theorists! You have less than 90 minutes to produce Obama's "real" birth certificate before it's too late!

10:40- You know Sarah Palin is going to crash this thing. But when? And How?

10:47- Songs overheard in line: If You're Happy and You Know It, Lean On Me, Signed Sealed Delivered. (Choruses only.)

10:51- No packages are allowed into the ceremony, although an exception was made for Bush, who's bringing his fully packed carry-on luggage onto the Capitol balcony.

11:06- The inauguration is seen as a trial run for the big dentists' convention coming to D.C. in March.

11:08- People here are clearly pumped that Obama is getting sworn in on the same Koran that Lincoln used.

11:12- Still not through security. Still not a single policeman or event official. Good thing they're not selling beer.

11:20- It now appears that there is no more admittance... Even for people with tickets. But no officials to be found.

11:21- You can't have an official word unless you have an official.

11:23- Rumor in the line is that people got in with forged tickets and people with legit ones are getting screwed. Unconfirmed.

11:25- Going back through the tunnel. (Third time's a charm.) Trying to get to the Mall on the other side.

11:41- Blocked from any view. Gathered around a transistor radio, trying to hear. Sigh.

11:50- Rick Warren almost makes up for the fact that Obama didn't appoint any fat people to his cabinet.

11:54- Aretha sings "My Country 'Tis of Thee." I thought the Jonas Brothers had this one.

11:59- Remember this moment. Bush is president and Biden VP.

12:05- Wait. His middle name is Hussein?!?

12:08- Congratulations to us all!

12:16- And now to go home and fire up the old YouTube.

1:30- Back in MD. A frustrating day to be sure, but we still feel that we were part of American history. The part that happens in tunnels.