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Top 5 Ways Obama and Roberts Will Screw Up 3rd Swearing-In

6 years ago
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As everyone in the world now knows, the first time Barack Obama and Chief Justice John Roberts tried to swear Obama in, they made a royal (or presidential?) mess of things. They blew it so badly, Fox News' Chris Wallace could not bring himself to recognize the legitimacy of Obama's presidency.

Not wanting to face overthrow by Wallace and a squad of Bill O'Reilly's interns, Obama and Roberts took a second run at the oath last night. Everything went swimmingly, as Obama was sworn in using...what, a TV Guide that Bush left lying around? Whatever it was, or wasn't, it was not a Bible. There's no way that passes the Wallace test.

My faith in Roberts and Obama is badly shaken, but I want to help. To that end, here are 5 ways they can screw up their eventual 3rd try. Hopefully, they can use it as a guide, either for what not to do, or to at least screw it up funny.

Top 5 Ways Obama and Roberts Will Screw Up 3rd Swearing-In

#5 - Roberts: "Do you, Barack Hussein Obama, take me to be your lawfully wedded wife?"

Obama: "I do."

#4 - Instead of a Bible, Roberts brings along "The Office's" Dwight Shrute. He tells perplexed onlookers "What? I'm administering the Oaf of Office."

#3 - Roberts: "Who's on First?"

Obama: "That's right."

Roberts: "What's right?"

Obama: "Oh, I see your confusion. The player's names are also interrogative pronouns."

#2 - They use a Bible, but it's the New International Version. Why not just use a Playboy magazine, you blasphemers?

#1 - Instead of swearing in, they just start to swear. Actually, we at Political Machine have put together a simulation of this one:

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