Not wanting to face overthrow by Wallace and a squad of Bill O'Reilly's interns, Obama and Roberts took a second run at the oath last night. Everything went swimmingly, as Obama was sworn in using...what, a TV Guide that Bush left lying around? Whatever it was, or wasn't, it was not a Bible. There's no way that passes the Wallace test.
My faith in Roberts and Obama is badly shaken, but I want to help. To that end, here are 5 ways they can screw up their eventual 3rd try. Hopefully, they can use it as a guide, either for what not to do, or to at least screw it up funny.
Top 5 Ways Obama and Roberts Will Screw Up 3rd Swearing-In
#5 - Roberts: "Do you, Barack Hussein Obama, take me to be your lawfully wedded wife?"
Obama: "I do."
#4 - Instead of a Bible, Roberts brings along "The Office's" Dwight Shrute. He tells perplexed onlookers "What? I'm administering the Oaf of Office."
#3 - Roberts: "Who's on First?"
Obama: "That's right."
Roberts: "What's right?"
Obama: "Oh, I see your confusion. The player's names are also interrogative pronouns."
#2 - They use a Bible, but it's the New International Version. Why not just use a Playboy magazine, you blasphemers?
#1 - Instead of swearing in, they just start to swear. Actually, we at Political Machine have put together a simulation of this one:
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