Cowboy Rod Blagojevich To Beat His Dead Horse All Over TV

As America bid farewell to our cowboy president, George W. Bush, we welcomed in a new Lone Ranger of sorts: Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich, who, like Bush last week, is about to leave office.

In case you missed it on Friday, Blagojevich held a press conference to suggest his impeachment trial be moved to a 19th century Texas saloon...

There was an old saying in the Old West: There was a cowboy who was charged with stealing a horse in town and some of the other cowboys, especially the guy whose horse was stolen, were very unhappy with that guy. One of the cowboys said "Let's hang him." And the other cowboys said, "Hold on. Before we hang him, let's first give him a fair trial, then we'll hang him."...

Under these rules, Rule 15F and Rule 8B, under that fact pattern I just gave you, if the cowboy who's charged with stealing a horse was charged with doing that in town, but in fact on the date and time that he apparently stole the horse in town, he was on the ranch with six other cowboys herding cattle and roping steers.

And then he expects that when his day comes to go to court he can bring those six cowboys to say it wasn't him because he wasn't in town, he was on the ranch herding cattle, even if he could bring those cowboys in to say that, under these rules, under 8B, it wouldn't matter.

Blagojevich's words are a sobering reminder that every great cowboy, from Wyatt Earp to Billy the Kid, was ultimately undone by the dastardly Rules 8B and 15F.

At least in those days, cowboys got to wear Stetson hats, whereas poor Blagojevich is forbidden from doing so by the vile state legislature and must substitute a wet cat instead.

The Governor is now taking his cowboy routine to the airwaves, having already made a Today show appearance where he embarassingly compared himself to Gandhi, Mandela and Martin Luther King. (None of whom were cowboys per se, but neither is anyone else we've mentioned in this article.)

Blago's blitz continues today with scheduled appearances on Good Morning America, The View and Larry King Live. And he's also doing radio, starting with last week's spot on Chicago's WLS-AM.

Ommitted from the PR circuit: Interviews with syndicated radio commenators G. Gordon Liddy and Rush Limbaugh. You see in that particular radio format, the felons host the broadcast rather than appear as guests.

And anyway, those guys' allegiances are with Cowboy Bush.