Burris Vows Not to Resign Until Every Illinoisan Is Humiliated

Before we go any further: Yes, "Illinoisan" is a word. There's even a newspaper with that word in the title.

And if that paper's readers weren't embarrassed enough by getting their news from an entity that just brazenly rewrites the dictionary like that, well there's someone out there to pick up the slack...

Their state's junior senator, Roland Burris.

Burris, who has been told to resign by Governor Pat Quinn, Senator Dick Durbin, the editorial board of the Chicago Tribune, and local political goon Bill Daley, refuses to heed their calls.

U.S. Senator Roland Burris, under pressure to resign after only five weeks in office, told a leading fellow Democrat he has no intention of leaving despite a raging controversy over his appointment to fill the vacancy left by President Barack Obama.

"I told him that under the circumstances I would consider resigning. He said he would not resign," Senator Richard Durbin told reporters after meeting with Burris.

Durbin, who along with Burris represents the state of Illinois, also said the new senator told him he had made no decisions about running for a full term in 2010.

At this point, Durbin and company should realize that Burris only takes orders from one man. And since the last time anyone saw that man, he was rummaging around backstage on David Letterman's set (stealing hairbrushes perhaps?), there's no way he could possibly have called Burris home to roost already.

So for now, Burris stays on in the Senate, causing more humiliation to his constituents than the Dave Wannstedt-era Bears.

And don't look for him to resign until he collects several years of paychecks. Lest anyone forget, he's looking at a $500,000 invoice for that seat.