Michelle Obama Ruins Easter

All of America's children know what the modern, secularized holiday of Easter is about.

It's about gorging yourself on ham and deviled eggs, then shoveling huge quantities of candy into your mouth, then sitting around being bored while your dad watches golf on TV.

But not according to joy-killing Michelle Obama! Because the theme of the First Lady's first White House Easter Egg Roll was ...

Diet and excercise.

This is Michelle Obama's first year as first lady, so the 2009 Easter Egg Roll at the White House had a decided "teaching moment" kind of feel, dedicated to promoting physical activity and perhaps a gateway to a campaign against childhood obesity.

"Our goal today is just to have fun," she said. "We want to focus on activity, healthy eating. We've got yoga, we've got dancing, we've got storytelling, we've got Easter egg decorating. Oh, we've got basketball (applause) -- a little soccer, as well. And we want everybody to think about moving their bodies, get out."

Soccer? Yoga?!? What does she think this is, Camp Shane?

What the First Lady doesn't understand is that Americans like their holidays sedentary and gluttonous. If she had wanted people to do yoga on Easter and do Pilates on Thanksgiving, she should have run for First Lady of a more active country like, say, Norway.