New Flu Scourge Targets Vegetarians (Satire)

We have terrifying news for our vegetarian readers who thought that they were safe from the ravages of Swine Flu.

First, Senator Charles Grassley (R-IA) has announced via Twitter that the Swine Flu is not caused by pork consumption, and he demands that you "Eatup. Regardless of epidemic"

Second, a new strain of the disease is apparently targeting America's herbivores ... ToFlu. We suggest that you watch this video below and then panic. We're pretty sure it's a joke, but you should probably throw out all of your non-GMO textured soy protein strips (and we know you have a lot) just in case.