New Flu Scourge Targets Vegetarians (Satire)
Dylan and Ethan Ris
Contributors
Posted:
05/11/09
We have terrifying news for our vegetarian readers who thought that they were safe from the ravages of Swine Flu.
First, Senator Charles Grassley (R-IA) has announced via Twitter that the Swine Flu is not caused by pork consumption, and he demands that you "Eatup. Regardless of epidemic"
Second, a new strain of the disease is apparently targeting America's herbivores ... ToFlu. We suggest that you watch this video below and then panic. We're pretty sure it's a joke, but you should probably throw out all of your non-GMO textured soy protein strips (and we know you have a lot) just in case.
First, Senator Charles Grassley (R-IA) has announced via Twitter that the Swine Flu is not caused by pork consumption, and he demands that you "Eatup. Regardless of epidemic"
Second, a new strain of the disease is apparently targeting America's herbivores ... ToFlu. We suggest that you watch this video below and then panic. We're pretty sure it's a joke, but you should probably throw out all of your non-GMO textured soy protein strips (and we know you have a lot) just in case.