Obama the Socialist? Bring It On!

Poor Republicans. They're trying to come up with something to say about the turmoil of the last few months, the massive loss of jobs, and the president's efforts to turn around the nation's fortunes. They're seeking a world that used to be and recoil at the one that's taking shape. They're like soap opera actors who didn't get this week's script. All they know to do is repeat lines from previous episodes.

Let's look at some of the conservative myths about the economy:

If you want to work, you'll find a job. The jobless don't want to work.

A few months ago, a friend of mine lost a full-time job with benefits he'd had for nine years. They cut him to freelance status. He's college educated, respected and connected locally. He applied for jobs all over the place. But guess what? Even Wal-Mart turned him down.

The stimulus plan will just make things worse. The best stimulus is deregulation and low taxes.

We've had just that – along with union busting – ever since Ronald Reagan was elected president. This plan has had a whole generation to work its magic. And yet here we are.

It's the tax-and-spend Democrats who got us into this mess.

That's rich, coming from the architects of the biggest deficit in history.

Living on handouts and credit – that's the culprit.

You mean the decade of easy credit for banks and financial firms?

No? How about the half of the stimulus money doled out to banks with no strings attached--prior to Obama taking office, I might add.

Maybe you're talking about the bonuses to brokers who sold toxic mortgages, and their very special friends, the appraisers, or perhaps offshore tax havens for American corporations.

But it's not just Republicans or capitalism that got us into the financial tar pit in which we currently find ourselves. There's also the march of time. Progress and new technology have played a part in the destruction of many jobs and the downsizing of others.

Have a look:

Travel agents: On the web you can do it yourself faster, cheaper and perhaps better as well, since you can get advice from unbiased travelers.

Real estate agents: Most agents owed their income to the MLS monopoly, which the Internet smashed to bits. Real estate firms will still offer services, but home sellers will buy them a la carte. The six percent commission is becoming as quaint as the home intercom systems of the 1960s.

Repairmen: It's usually cheaper to buy new products no matter how big or small.

College professors: These days, universities favor part-time and adjunct teachers over tenure-track faculty.

Financial advisors: Thanks to abundant financial data online, consumers no longer need to depend on these "experts" to lose money for them.

Salesmen: Put out of business by warehouse stores, cars.com and craigslist.

Gas station attendants: In the 1985 film "Back to the Future," a character travels to the year 1955. When a car pulls into a gas station, the resulting flurry of clean-cut, uniformed men rushing to fill the tank, wipe the windshield and check the oil got the biggest laugh. Today, we are so far removed from that reality the joke might not even work.

Child-care workers: Huge when women entered the workforce in droves in the 1980s. Thanks to the Roaring Recession and its ugly wee sister the Pink Slip, many women – and men – are choosing to stay home with the little darlings.

Computer repairmen: Today's malware is so sophisticated it can remain on your hard drive even after reformatting. It's more cost-effective to buy a new computer. Which was made overseas.

Photographers: Going the way of the typing pool.

Merchants: A profession that goes back to Biblical times. Surely it will survive! Just one problem: If you attempt to call a local store to ask how many or what colors of a given item they carry, you will most likely hear a recording and a menu that loops back to itself no matter which button you press.

Customer service reps: I suspect the long hold times are deliberate--if you hang up after 20 minutes, so much the better for the company.

Lawyers: Jobs are drying up, and yet look at all the attorneys law schools continue to spit out. Supply and demand, baby – try that law on for size.

Bankruptcy lawyers: You got me there!

OK, the Republicans say, maybe some old jobs have fallen by the wayside. To be expected – the cost of progress. Buggy-whip makers and all that. But new jobs have emerged.

Yes indeed! Here they are, with salaries:

1) Fooling around on Facebook, $0.
2) Twittering, $0.
3) Texting, negative income.
4) Writing an online book review, $0.
5) Writing an online movie review, $0.
6) Writing an online hotel review, $0.
7) Browsing eBay, probable negative income.
8) Uploading photos to Flickr, $0.
9) Making a video for YouTube, $0.
10) Commenting on a friend's video, $0.

How about blogging? Online rambling about your personal life won't earn you money. But how about focused, topical, successful blogs? Those bloggers must be raking it in!

Uh, it turns out, no. Blogger Paul Gillin notes that his $70 per month in AdSense revenue "is good for beer money, and lousy beer at that. I probably earn about $.50/hour working on the blog."

Republicans have on occasion expressed concern that the United States is becoming France, where vacations are long and the workweek is short. But what if it's already happened? Or, put another way, what if France is the model we should follow?

Maybe all this denigration of socialism is just the latter stages of denial.

Alongside the monumental job losses of the last 12 months, we've also seen full-time workers cut to part time. Maybe 32 hours is the new 40: They pay you for 32 hours, but you work 40. Why? Because they can and you can. Just 25 years ago I literally punched a time clock. Today you can pick up e-mails and voicemails from anywhere, and you can work while cooling your heels in a waiting room.

What if socialism is not some political football for Democrats and Republicans to toss back and forth, but rather our only way out of this mess?

If our manufacturing jobs are gone (they are) and our service jobs are going (they're well on their way) then government has no choice but to step in. Creating jobs is cheaper than prison.

"Taxes are what we pay for a civilized society," wrote philosopher/historian Will Durant.

Attorney, author and community activist Van Jones founded the Oakland Green Job Corps and put unemployed people to work installing solar panels. In the future our leaders may look more like Van Jones and less like last century's business hero, General Electric CEO Jack Welch.

Our 40-hour workweek with full benefits and paid vacation may never return. Pensions have already gone the way of the black rotary phone. Perhaps 32 hours of pay is all our weakened economy can afford for the foreseeable future. People who want more will moonlight or turn to the black market, just like our grandparents did.

Viva la France. And viva us. I hope.