The Two (Magic!) Words That Could Have Avoided the John Ensign Sex Scandal

From old-time reporters with soup stains on their ties to youthful citizen journalists who find Twitter too wordy, the press pack loves nothing so much as a politician caught in flagrante, committing the sin of hypocrisy. So it was with Nevada Republican Sen. John Ensign, who told a Las Vegas press conference, "Last year I had an affair. I violated the vows of my marriage."

What that admission prompted, of course, were fast Google and NEXIS searches looking for anything embarrassing in retrospect that Ensign might have said about the likes of Bill Clinton and Larry Craig. And sure enough, the world's databases obliged: Ensign was the first member of the Nevada congressional delegation to call for Bill Clinton to resign over his entanglement with Monica Lewinsky. Even more embarrassing was the wording of Ensign's comments about Craig. "I wouldn't put myself hopefully in that kind of position," Ensign said about the Idaho Republican arrested in a public men's room. "But if I was in a position like that, that's what I would do [resign]."

Needless to say, Ensign has no intention of resigning. In fact, until the affair surfaced, Ensign seemed like he was succumbing to the other addiction that overcomes obscure middle-aged senators – an opium-like fantasy that he could be president. Just two weeks ago, Ensign stopped off to give a speech to a conservative group in Iowa, which coincidentally enough is the first caucus state. As Ensign's press secretary said at the time, "He's very focused on Nevada. But what this trip means is it's a conversation about the future of the Republican Party."

As a political reporter still embarrassed that I rode with the lynch mob that strung up Gary Hart more than two decades ago, I have grown weary of political sex scandals. In fact, I am not sure that I want to be governed by 535 members of Congress who all qualify for merit badges in chastity.

So to all politicians – straight arrows and libertines alike – I make a simple plea: Don't be a hypocrite. When asked about the sexual conduct of consenting adults in public life, simply say the two magic words: "No comment." In short, don't feed the beast by moralizing in public about the frailties of others. And a final tip (and one that John Edwards should have followed): If you are playing around on your spouse, don't go to Iowa.