The Five Confessions We'll Never Forget

In the realm of political confessions, yesterday's eye-popper from Gov. Mark Sanford had it all: A lead-in mystery, an Argentine paramour, a sinful revelation from a proud occupant of the moral high ground.

But in the grand sweep of history, Sanford was merely following in the footsteps of the apologizing politicians who have come before him. Whether it was John Ensign or John Edwards, gay Americans or not gay Americans, men (we can't think of any women) in the American public eye have elevated their on-camera mea culpas to an art form.

So we pause on this day to appreciate the modern ritual of the Official Confessional Press Conference and to give our nominations for the best of the bunch.

When you watch the nominees below, remember that the reason these men have decided to go public is because they had no choice. Something or someone put these cats in a corner, so their only option was to fight their way out. Also, make note of the keys tactics the pro's use, so that you can you use them if you're ever caught with your pants where they don't belong:

1. Confess to whatever it is you think you did.
2. Apologize to your wife, the people who elected you, and possibly to Tom Davis, if you know him.
3. Quote the bible, especially if you quoted the bible during your campaign announcement.
4. Discuss key policy initiatives- when are you ever going to get this kind of press again?
5. Blame the press, ask for forgiveness and then ask for privacy, if not for you, then for the children.

Without further delay, the five confessions we'll never forget are:

#5. New York Gov. Eliot Spitzer (D), confessing to soliciting prostitutes, with his wife standing ashen-faced next to him:



#4. Sen. David Vitter (R-LA), sort of confessing to using prostitutes, with his wife, clad in leopard print and sporting a fresh blowout, standing next to him:



#3. The "I am a Gay American" confession from New Jersey Gov. Jim McGreevey (D):



#2. The "I am NOT a Gay American" confession from Sen. Larry Craig (R-ID):



And #1. The Daddy of all Denials, from President Bill Clinton:



Followed up by a....clarification, if not a real confession: