Sperm-and-Beauty Study: Fertile Ground for Media

Speaking of the private lives of politicians and TMI -- not that there really can be such a thing where science is concerned -- researchers at the University of Oxford and University College London took a mathematical look at mating strategies and concluded: males who are more attractive are less fertile.

One of the funniest things about scientific studies with a sexy angle is the different ways news organizations market them. Check out some of Friday's headlines on this study:

-- The U.K.'s ultra-restrained Press Association becomes awkwardly roundabout and even a bit literary when sex is the topic: "Casanovas Not So Hot, Says Study." The article then goes on to advise ladies to be on guard against "handsome Lotharios." Will do. Will also be on lookout for signs of smallpox and for a good fainting couch -- mine is getting shabby.

-- Forget about beauty being in the eye of the beholder. FOXNews decides not to sugarcoat it: "Ugly Men More Fertile, Produce More Sperm." Ouch. But, lest we think Fox is being too hard on just the guys, here's the network's first sentence: "Women wanting to get pregnant should find themselves an ugly man." Something for everyone, FOXNews.

-- PhysOrg impressively provides instructions on how to get the whole research paper. Unfortunately, its headline suggests it doesn't anticipate our lady-brains will have any interest in reading it: "Spread Your Sperm the Smart Way." Not really a concern for a little over 50 percent of the population, PhysOrg.

Whatever approach these different organizations took -- whether stuffy, blunt or just plain sexist -- all of them suggested that the study was on people, when really it focused on birds and fish. Some wise words from the paper itself: "How this work applies to humans and other primates is not yet known. Human attractiveness is complicated and influenced by a number of factors, including cultural preferences."