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Respect, Black Lace, and That Thing on Michelle Obama's Head
I was just reading some of the responses to Elizabeth Lev's excellent piece on Obama's meeting with the pope, Barry and Benedict Meet in the Land of Caesars and Martyrs, and one of them made me laugh out loud: "Roman Catholics,'' it said, "I wish would just get over themselves and their church.'' We love our own faex, it's true – and whether Tridentine traditionalists or Pax Christi progressives, are attached beyond reason to our candles and prayer cards and incense -- visual, tactile, olfactory little trails of bread crumbs that make it easier for us to find the sacramental in the everyday world, as we think God intended. (Unlike some birthday boys we could name. And as for you oh gentle commenter, nobody threw you on the ground and made you click.)
Not all of us, it must be said, have similarly warm feelings about the full Queen Isabel-style mantilla Michelle Obama wore for her meeting with the pope, in keeping with protocol and tradition. Though I ask you, did she not rock that sheer, hip-length headpiece, with just a hint of Spanish upsweep? Even Sister Theodosia would have approved, not to mention Rafael.
Why the full Monty-a? Well first, because though not every woman has followed this tradition – Angela Merkel met the pontiff bare-headed, and Hillary Clinton has done it both ways -- meeting Benedict without a mantilla would have been seen as disrespectful, so there was no chance Michelle Obama would do that.
The first lady went well beyond what was required, though; her veil was more Latin than those worn by the wives of the Salvadoran and Colombian presidents for their recent audienze. And in comparison, the short, simple bits of lace Laura Bush and Margaret Thatcher wore to meet Benedict were closer to the Kleenex we used to have to bobby-pin to our heads when we forgot our little doilies for daily Mass than they were to the practically Goya-level head-covering Michelle chose. She seems to have been surpassed only by the Catholic Jackie Kennedy, who arrived at the Vatican in a floor-length gown, with Nancy Reagan, in her veiled pillbox, coming in third.
Critics see Michelle's extravagant gesture as so much empty posturing; in the Catholic blogosphere today, the FLOTUS was facing multiple counts of hypocrisy by over-the-top headwear. (Even her fully covered arms were seen as evidence that she was trying to put one over on Benedict, though she would have been stopped at the door in a sleeveless dress.)
But what I liked even more than the look of her mantilla was the look on her face, which can only be described as childlike. If I showed you the photo of my 80-year-old dad meeting John Paul II, you'd see the same thing in his expression; he looks 10 years old in that picture, and that is a grace that cannot be faked.
When it comes to bowing to traditions that aren't our own, isn't that posture a good thing in and of itself? Back when we lived in Texas, my New Yorker husband and I had a running argument about what he saw as the "phony politeness'' of Southern manners –manners that I, much preferring insincere courtesy to heartfelt rudeness, saw as a hallmark of civilization. Can you ever overdo a sign of respect? To me, no.
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Melinda Henneberger
Melinda Henneberger is the editor-in-chief of PoliticsDaily.com. She spent 10 years as a reporter for the New York Times, in the paper’s Washington and Rome bureaus... more
Comments (225)
jrotced02
9:36PM Jul 11th 2009
Hey Pope...you don't play the game, you don't make the rules!
RATE THIS COMMENT:
(-2)
(-2) 
bon
3:31PM Jul 12th 2009
Actually, is the THE game which the Pope plays. Are you in?
RATE THIS COMMENT: (-4)
(-4) joan
10:01PM Jul 11th 2009
The Obamas are phoneys. Michelle's expensive wardrobe is a slap in the face to struggling, hungry, jobless Americans. Not to mention that wearing designer clothes does nothing for her to improve ugly. Michelle-the one "not proud of her country" and "America is mean" and that buffoon husband of hers are a disgrace to our beloved America, as they both work to sell us out. Maybe, they can stay in Africa--that would give good meaning to 'hope-change". The sight of them is enough to hurl, and unfortunately, the media worships them and plasters their ugly faces everywhere.
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(4)
(4) noemi Ward
10:49PM Jul 11th 2009
YOUR JUST JEALOUS, BECAUSE YOU WILL NEVER HAVE THE EDUCATION, WEALTH ,SUCCESS AND POWER OF THE THE OBAMA'S. PEOPLE LIKE YOU WILL NOT LIVE LONG IN THIS WORLD OR IF YOU DO YOU WILL SPEND IT SUFFERING IN A NURSING HOME OR MENTAL INSTITUTION. MARK MY WORDS, THIS WILL COME THRU. I WISH YOU ALL THE BEST YOU RACIST!!!!
RATE THIS COMMENT: (-2)
(-2) pacrowderholyoke
11:03PM Jul 11th 2009
She looked like she was trying to impersonate a badly-dressed nun. Her shiny belt up under her boobs and her long and uneven veil were atrocious.
RATE THIS COMMENT:
(2)
(2) GIGIFASHIONGIRL1
11:30PM Jul 11th 2009
I HOPE YOU REACHED THE TOILET WHEN YOU REGURGITATED. OH! FORGIVE ME! REGURGITATED MEANS TO VOMIT, JUST TO CLARIFY...IGNORANCE IS ABUNDANT! AND YOU ARE SO MUCH A PART OF THE PACT!
RATE THIS COMMENT: (-4)
(-4) Dianne
10:35AM Jul 12th 2009
You are so ignorant that I shouldn't even comment but your remarks beg for a response. The President has been a busy man since his election. He hit the ground running and has accomplished many things since last November. Try listening with an open mind to all the good things he is doing and working on. He and Michelle are so cute and such a loving couple with adorable kids....why don't you shut up and get a life.
RATE THIS COMMENT: (-4)
(-4) Jusus
11:07AM Jul 12th 2009
Joan
10:01PM Jul 11th 2009
The Obamas are phoneys. Michelle's expensive wardrobe is a slap in the face to struggling, hungry, jobless Americans. Not to mention that wearing designer clothes does nothing for her to improve ugly. Michelle-the one "not proud of her country" and "America is mean" and that buffoon husband of hers are a disgrace to our beloved America, as they both work to sell us out. Maybe, they can stay in Africa--that would give good meaning to 'hope-change". The sight of them is enough to hurl, and unfortunately, the media worships them and plasters their ugly faces everywhere.________________________________________---
Now,Now Joan settle down and have another Twinkies, If you spend a little time in the Gym you too could be a slim and pretty as Michelle no need to be nasty. Oh by the way the gown that McCain's wife wore to the convention cost more than you make in a year (google it baby)
10:01PM Jul 11th 2009
The Obamas are phoneys. Michelle's expensive wardrobe is a slap in the face to struggling, hungry, jobless Americans. Not to mention that wearing designer clothes does nothing for her to improve ugly. Michelle-the one "not proud of her country" and "America is mean" and that buffoon husband of hers are a disgrace to our beloved America, as they both work to sell us out. Maybe, they can stay in Africa--that would give good meaning to 'hope-change". The sight of them is enough to hurl, and unfortunately, the media worships them and plasters their ugly faces everywhere.________________________________________---
Now,Now Joan settle down and have another Twinkies, If you spend a little time in the Gym you too could be a slim and pretty as Michelle no need to be nasty. Oh by the way the gown that McCain's wife wore to the convention cost more than you make in a year (google it baby)
RATE THIS COMMENT: (-4)
(-4) Tracy
1:49PM Jul 12th 2009
Wow joan you are a really hateful person
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(0)
(0) main
5:17PM Jul 12th 2009
You are so right people here are having a hard time making a living while the obummers spend our money like water maybe they should go to a homeless shelter and see for themselves.
RATE THIS COMMENT: (4)
(4) joy
9:35AM Jul 16th 2009
I agree 100% with you girl.
Joy
Joy
RATE THIS COMMENT: (1)
(1) Ruby Ringgold
7:23PM Jul 12th 2009
You obviously were raised by ignorant parents who failed to teach you good manners! Judge not, less you be judged -- and if you think your comments make you look smart or cute, NOOOOO, you sound undignified, uneducated and plain stupid. Get a life. You sound like a leftover KKKer!
RATE THIS COMMENT: (-2)
(-2) rubybegonia
7:39PM Jul 12th 2009
Oooh! Bigot much? I thought men were supposedly the superficial ones, only liking beautiful women. You should post your picture so that we can all enjoy your lovely golden hair, blue (vacant)eyes, and perfect Caucasian beauty. Get a grip, the Decider-in-Chief is gone, along with Stepford Laura. I am sure if Mrs.Obama dressed in KMart clothes your would be there carping about her not presenting a good enough appearance. She has multiple degrees, and earned lots of her own money. She can buy and wear any damn thing she likes, and does! Short,chubby,white,old me couldn't rock that wardrobe, but good for her. You are awfully bitter, aren't you?
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(-4) lilly
9:36PM Jul 12th 2009
There's nothing uglier than when a person talks about another in the way that you have talked about the Obamas'. You act as if you know them personally and as if they have done something horrible to you. You should be ashamed of yourself...didn't your momma ever teach you better? Beauty comes from within....I guess that's why you wouldn't know the difference....gosh I feel sorry for people like you. It's people like you that give American's such a bad reputation. I wonder what ever happened to you to make you feel so bitter.
RATE THIS COMMENT: (2)
(2) jrotced02
9:57PM Jul 12th 2009
Where's your picture?
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(2) Michelle
11:04PM Jul 12th 2009
actually, in comparison to privious first ladies, Mrs.Obama's wardrobe is what is called, "off the rack"..sure she has had designer dresses for special occasions, however her daily wear comes from Target even in some cases.
Oh and the designer gowns, are usually "borrowed", its a lil arrangement that designers like to make, because it gets them so much more attention, so they can sell their wares, which puts money into their businesses, which stimulates the ecomony...
The Obamas are phoney you say...HA...hardly.
If anything, the Obama's are walking talking stimulus packages...where ever they eat, thats resturants business goes up, whatever she wears, sells out...
Oh and the designer gowns, are usually "borrowed", its a lil arrangement that designers like to make, because it gets them so much more attention, so they can sell their wares, which puts money into their businesses, which stimulates the ecomony...
The Obamas are phoney you say...HA...hardly.
If anything, the Obama's are walking talking stimulus packages...where ever they eat, thats resturants business goes up, whatever she wears, sells out...
RATE THIS COMMENT: (4)
(4) millicent1713
12:53PM Jul 13th 2009
YOU REALLY NEED HELP!
RATE THIS COMMENT: (1)
(1) Mary
2:03PM Jul 13th 2009
joan, how long do you hold a grudge....don't be so hateful...it is only harmful to you....look for the good in people instead of being so hateful. You know, your words say a lot more about you than they do the Obamas...and that is you must be a very hateful and angry person. Get a life.
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(-4) chenault59
2:14PM Jul 13th 2009
you are simply an idiot who seeks attention lol
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(-1) mmack64491
2:53PM Jul 13th 2009
Is it because they are black, or you just a hater
RATE THIS COMMENT: (-3)
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