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2 years ago

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I'm taking a quick break from what Bonnie refers to as Sotomayor's dance with the Senate Judiciary Committee to express my sheer delight in discovering Jennifer Schuessler's recent New York Times book review of "The Tall Book: A Celebration of Life From on High." Author Arianne Cohen measures 6-foot-3, reviewer Schuessler is 5-foot-11, and I stand a few millimeters shy of 5-foot-12.

If I sound obsessed with these measurements, it's for good reason. Hardly a week passes when I'm not forced to entertain some discussion of female height, mine or my daughter's. Following a disclosure of my child's age or grade level, the conversation goes almost exactly like this:

"She's really tall!" a well-meaning parent delivers his or her observation with the urgency of breaking news.

"Tall parents," I give my worn, prepackaged, two-word reply.

"Oh, yeah! You're really tall," the parent offers up newsflash No. 2.

These parents mean no malice. My 8-year-old's height, however, is hardly the most interesting part of her being, and I've worried that these endless comments will make her feel self-conscious about her body. My strategy has been to advise her to accept these remarks as compliments and respond with a simple thank you. I've hoped that one day I'd actually mean my words.

When children tease her on the playground, I cheer her up with my collection of stats: Taylor Swift stands 5-foot-11, Michelle Obama 5-foot-10, and Macy Gray and Beth Orton are 6 feet.

Cohen addresses the adult annoyances of being a "tall" -- the fact that buses, trains, furniture, and buildings aren't really made for us. (I can vouch for this; if an airplane passenger seated in front of me pushes back his or her seat, I eat my knees). She states that tall women are less likely to marry and have children, and I'm curious to read about her experience with fetishists.

Cohen also provides some pretty terrific statistics about us "talls." We boast higher IQ's, live longer lives, win presidential elections and other popularity contests, and earn about $789 more per inch per year. Economists Greg Mankiw and Matthew Weinzierl posit that height is so dramatically linked with income that they propose a "tall tax."

Schuessler refers to Cohen's citing of research showing that nearly half of women who seek medical treatment to suppress their growth later regret it, and those who choose to grow "tall and gorgeous" are "universally happy."

Though I've bemoaned life as a "tall," I would not surrender one inch of my height. It's occurred to me that the steady stream of "so tall" comments might mean: "Lucky girl," "My kid's at a disadvantage," "I always wished I were tall" or myriad other parental projections. With the help of Cohen, Mankiw, and Weinzierl, I'm starting to grasp that sometimes these remarks really are meant as compliments, in which case I'll echo my daughter's graciousness and utter a sweet and earnest thank you. And mean it.

Filed Under: Woman Up

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