No one knows, really, though certainly no normal person would dare to stare at the FLOTUS like she was the last piece of cake, as he did at the G-20 dinner last week.

I do, however, think I know why the Italian prime minister persists in embarrassing his fellow Italians – hardly any of whom will cop to having voted for the billionaire – by repeatedly remarking on Barack Obama's "tan.'' Hint: Have you ever seen Silvio Berlusconi, who turns 73 today? He is the John Boehner of Italy; tanning is his thing, or one of them, anyway, if his soon-to-be-ex-wife is to be believed.

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When he talks, he rarely strays far from Topic B for Berlusconi: "I sincerely consider myself by far the best prime minister that Italy has ever had in its 150 years of history," he said recently. His legislative agenda has famously focused on passing laws whose only beneficiary is . . . Berlusconi. (Next month, a court will rule on the constitutionality of a made-to-order '08 law granting him full judicial immunity from the corruption charges he's faced for years.

He's also busy defending his honor by suing five Italian journalists, all female, over a newspaper account that he suffers from erectile dysfunction.) So when he's jabbering about Obama's "tan,'' as he did again this week in Milan, my guess is – buon giorno! -- he's really talking about his own orange hue. Which is neither an excuse nor a definitive diagnosis, but your hour is up, Silvio, so tanti auguri and see you next time.


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