Short answer: R U kidding? No bodily function, emotional trauma or personal exchange is beyond bounds or beneath broadcasting these days. Thus did 43-year-old Penelope Trunk, CEO of the aptly named "Brazen Careerist'' blog, Twitter her recent miscarriage: "I'm in a board meeting. Having a miscarriage. Thank goodness, because there's a f***-up 3-week hoop-jump to have an abortion in Wisconsin." (The asterisks are mine, not hers.)
Although my own first reaction was to look away and keep walking, such squeamishness was not widely shared. In fact, if the tweet was in part a PR stunt by Trunk, who makes her living by – wait for it -- offering career advice to the young, it worked to perfection, and set virtual jaws flapping across the blogosphere and the political spectrum.
On the feminist blog Jezebel, Trunk's disclosure was disparaged as both plain old gross and particularly unfortunate for supporters of abortion rights: "[D]o you want to hear about your male co-worker's hemorrhoids in the workplace? Or the details of his wife's miscarriage? And, unfortunately for everyone, now that this has gone national, the context and way in which Trunk framed this confirms the worst and most fantastical ideas of the anti-choice movement: that women (especially career women!) who have abortions all do so casually and callously on their lunch breaks, the way one might get a manicure.''
At Slate's DoubleX women's site, Amanda Marcotte cheered the simple elegance of Trunk's communique. And no, that is not a malign paraphrase. Marcotte, best known for the anti-Catholic rants that cost her her job as a blogger for John Edwards' '08 presidential campaign, wrote that she "wasn't even remotely bothered'' by Trunk's tweet. On the contrary, "I found it to be an elegant instance of the power of Twitter and the way people have learned to pack so much information into 140 characters. We as a culture applaud men who come up with choice quotes to describe death, courage, and war, but if a woman employs brevity to express relief at a miscarriage, suddenly there's an outcry against the dangers of getting to the point'' too abruptly.
I've written a lot about my conservative abortion views; nonetheless, I do not think Trunk's wahoo, drive-through view of abortion is typical. Most normal women take these and other serious decisions seriously. No, it's her 'tude toward disclosure that I see as a sign of the times.
Of course, to paraphrase Jesus, porn we will have with us always. And it's OK that we no longer feel like those ladies of a tenderer time, who as the wonderful Judith Martin winkingly reminds us in Miss Manners' Guide to Excruciatingly Correct Behavior, used to have a precise lifetime limit on the number of times they could comfortably see their name in print: "Thrice. Marriage, as well as birth and death – but only one of each – are the traditional occasions on which a lady is supposed to undergo the pain of public scrutiny. Miss Manners, however, is in no position to criticize those who exceed their limits.''
More recently, in the year of our Lord 1991 -- before people fell in love or divorced on television -- Madonna was still able to give the nation a frisson or two by hauling a camera crew around with her on a concert tour, then packaging the footage as a documentary film called Truth or Dare. The one thing I remember about the movie now isn't its star's exhibitionism but the droll comment of her then-companion Warren Beatty, who didn't much like being filmed for the project and mocked her by asking something to the effect of "What's the point of doing anything if it happens off-camera, right?''
The thing is, we are all Madonna now, or would very much like to be; this is a narcissistic time, when technology gives us the ability to unburden ourselves, and the illusion that over-sharing is a career- or image-enhancing activity. Now, I'm pretty free with info my own self – to the point that my children have been known to follow some comment that made me laugh with, "That was off-the-record!'' But is discretion completely dead? Is any revelation so taboo we wouldn't tweet it? Is social media the new confessional? Yes, no, and yes, I'm afraid. But aren't those who go too far more apt to wind up feeling vulnerable than relieved?
Trunk says no: In a follow-up on her blog, she argues that miscarriage is a fact of life, that life happens at work, and that "you can't manage your work life if you can't talk about it.'' But can you ever stop talking about it -- or stop being talked about -- once you've lobbed a doozy like that into the water-cooler conversation?
Melinda Henneberger is the editor-in-chief of PoliticsDaily.com. She spent 10 years as a reporter for the New York Times, in the paper’s Washington and Rome bureaus... more
if we have not done so already, can we finally admit that technology has outpaced our ability to wisely use it. Hard to complain about a lack of privacy when the subjects refuse to exercise it, nay, when the subjects insist on opening the curtain and dragging the rest of us behind it.
RATE THIS COMMENT: (437)
joenamath1
8:43PM Sep 30th 2009
It has most assuredly gone too far. Case in point, I was in a rest room at work a few weeks ago and A guy runs into a the stall with his blackberry and his lunch. He is on the blackberry phone talking to someone loudly and eating his lunch:a plastic container of Chinese food. All the while taking a hearty sloppy smelly DUMP complete with splatter noises. He puts the chinese food on the floor! and Then is talking about checking his iphone. I am not making this up. You know the person on the other end could hear this. How "connected" do you have to be? People have an overyl heightened sense of themselves where the mundane is emergency news. Enough already...
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RAJ
9:02PM Sep 30th 2009
Wade - AOL SAYS Please keep your comments relevant to this blog entry - what in the hell does cap and trade have to do with a woman having a miscarriage?
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ud16bull
9:47PM Sep 30th 2009
That's why they call the individual twitter messages tweets because they realize they are really twits!
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ahoving
9:52PM Sep 30th 2009
um, these are all PUBLISHING platforms folks. don't put anything online you wouldn't want to see on the front page of the NYT
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crowleyaic
11:00PM Sep 30th 2009
ya..the Beef Curtain! lol
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Paula Dell
11:40PM Sep 30th 2009
My friend calls it twatter and the people who use it twatters. After this I couldn't agree more.
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JCM088
11:40PM Sep 30th 2009
Well, I don`t know why anyone is really at all surprised at this???????? With all of the reality shows on TV networks and all the Twitter, MySpace and Face Book antics etc.... What else would you expect from people who put there lives on display for everyone to see on Video or read in Print. I am not surprised at all. Everyone out there is hook on all of this new technology or should I say ADDICTED to it. Its a real shame too. The human race now relies on computer technology for everything...... its no wonder half of the children growing up today are some what brain dead. We all rely on this technology because we think it makes our lives easier.... nonsense...So don`t be surprised if you read even worse things on these social networks. GOD Help us All.
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drktranquillity
11:51PM Sep 30th 2009
I think Twitter is clear evidence that the internet was a better place when you were required to have at least *some* intelligence in order to be afforded the luxury of voicing your opinions to the world at large.
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Dany
12:12AM Oct 1st 2009
This is the funniest thing I ever heard...to hell with u Melinda go cry elsewhere
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niceareolas
12:20AM Oct 1st 2009
No one is dragging us behind any curtain, we have the ability to avoid stories or tweets like this one. We must remember that everyone grieves differently, she could be experiencing pain and sorrow internally. The real problem is that people are interested in stories like this one. And it's because of that interest that media outlets run with them.
RATE THIS COMMENT: (-26)
eccad252
12:26AM Oct 1st 2009
Alex, you are so right. We are our own worst enemy. This woman has absolutely no class. How disgusting!
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What It is?
2:09AM Oct 1st 2009
technology outpaced our ability to wisely use it just about two minutes after we learned to use fire. Everything is equally horrible, and equally essential. That fire heats peoples, and it cooks foot. However, the fire also burns down houses, and helps brandish swords and bullets... Now are those bullets and swords bad??? Yes and No.... Equally...We need to protect our selves, but some people just offend others with weapons.....Remeber now we're only Two steps away from FIRE, metal to weapon... Now fire helps make pills by cooking chemicals at certain temps and so fourth, but it also cooks concoctions which could burn through the concrete on your driveway... Whether that looks like a dumb way to look at it, so widely. We must remember that all things occur at once, and none of them can be overlooked. None of the bad can be over looked, and none of the good. We musn't call anything good or bad. Unfortunately, in this body we'll never know.
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nonsound
4:32AM Oct 1st 2009
I disagree. Science has simply outpaced the educational standards. But in any case, using technology as an advantage should never be shunned - human progress advances when its known limits are tested.
On another note, I'm glad this woman isn't having kids :)
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Steph
5:31PM Oct 4th 2009
It's not the words but the tone that's the most offensive to me. I consider myself very liberal and pro-choice but I'd never take such a thing so flippant and casual. Abortion and miscarriages are serious, both medically and emotionally, and to treat it as something so flippant is terribly immature, irresponsible, as well as terribly callous towards women who do suffer miscarriages and find it to be a very traumatizing and truly sad event. If this woman has so little respect for others as well as motherhood, maybe she should get her tubes tied. Miscarriage is a fact of life, but it's not a fun one, and attempting to be "edgy" isn't going to make it any less painful and sometimes medically dangerous as it is.
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mobilefire99
8:31PM Oct 4th 2009
Technology is outpacing our wisdom by far (and I'm 25 saying this).. just because you can doesn't mean you should.
And it does hurt abortion rights.
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jgrossrealtor
8:58PM Oct 4th 2009
Very well said!
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Joyce
6:18AM Oct 5th 2009
I agree, but, we as individuals still have the power of choice. We can choose what we read, or what we allow people to tell us. If something offends me, I simply choose not to be a part of it anymore. I also think it's wrong that people judge her as being cold and heartless for discussing this the way she did. To assume that most women wouldn't feel this way, even twenty or thirty years ago, well, you know what it does. Women just didn't voice things back then, but that doesn't mean that some didn't feel the same way. We pick and choose what we tell people, and they pick and choose what they hear. Should we choose our words wisely? Sure, but then, who decides what is wise and what is not? One man's comic book is another man's novel. And just for the record, I choose not to tweet.
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AngelBaby
5:53PM Sep 30th 2009
To bad she is a LIAR - Wisconsin does not have a three week waiting period on abortions, they have a 24 hour reflection period.
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sparklspd
10:40PM Sep 30th 2009
Was she actually having a miscarriage? It seems like this whole event was planned for publicity for her web site.