Celibacy and Subliminal Slushie Facials on 'Glee'

If only a grape-flavored Big Gulp could solve all the world's problems.

Last night's "Glee" found McKinley High's "it couple" -- Finn and Quinn (seriously) -- on the wrong side of a "slushie facial" -- the school's sticky iteration of social justice. Ostensibly, the quarterback and head cheerleader fell to the bottom of the pubescent pecking order because they're members of the glee club, but then there's also the matter of the baby in Quinn's belly.

"Oh, I've wanted to do that that since fifth grade when you made fun of me for getting pubes," says the slushi slinger to the now slushie-faced Finn. "Now that you've joined the lullaby lees and then sperminated the queen of the chastity ball . . . you two don't have the juice anymore. Welcome to the new world order!"

Devastated, QuinnFinn high tail it to the guidance counselor's office to get some advice on "how to be cool" again but not -- unfortunately -- on how to use a condom. Later in the Fox musical comedy-drama, the rest of the glee kids wear raincoats to try to protect themselves from the inevitable slushie onslaught. Hmmm . . .

Seeing as how the last episode of "Glee" ended with the news of Quinn's teen pregnancy hitting the blogosphere and this episode opened with her alleged "sperminator" getting a cold one to the face, I'd venture to guess that the show's writers have something very clear to say about 16-year-olds and insemination -- namely that it's, um, not cool.

Especially in light of the recent news that 115 girls at a Chicago-area public school are expecting. Eight hundred girls attend Paul Robeson High School in total, meaning that 1 in 7 girls there is with child. "To put it in perspective," wrote the local CBS affiliate, "their school pictures would fill roughly six pages of their high school year book." Faced with the daunting task of educating (and hopefully graduating) expectant mothers, the school is setting up a day care center and a teen parent program.

Because, really, what the heck else can they do? Shaking your head and wagging a finger in the face of scared child about to have a child doesn't help much. The girls at Paul Robeson High -- named for the famed basso profundo -- are still singing the blues. But perhaps the weekly sing-a-long that is "Glee" might aid in prevention. Play the newest hit backward and maybe you'll hear the message about how being popular and pregnant doesn't add up.