5 Edgy Costumes for Discerning Trick-or-Treaters

Ah, Halloween. It's the day when the barrier between the real world and the spirit world is at its thinnest. When we don costumes ridiculous or scary to act out our fears, subvert authority, or lose ourselves in escapist fantasy. It's the one day children can knock on strangers' doors demanding candy, and the one day we, the strangers, can offer it to them.

Although ghost, pirate, witch, and Hannah Montana outfits will always be sartorial staples of Halloween, the topical costume adds the spark of current events to any Oct. 31st festivities -- especially on college campuses and among informed-yet-revelrous adults.

This was never more true than in 2008. As the presidential campaign roared into its final week, people went political with their costumes, especially with then-senator turned president Barack Obama and then-governor turned author Sarah Palin. In the gloom of the economic downturn and mindlessness of our heightened political partisanship, the satirical humor of dressing up as newsmakers can lighten their context in welcome ways.

I doubt we will see many repeat Palin or Obama costumes this Halloween (though variations are always possible), but here is a list of topical costume ideas from the last 12 months:

1. Mahmoud Ahmadinejad

The ubiquity this year of a name so hard to spell and pronounce attest's to the owner's importance. Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, president of Iran, won a hotly contested re-election bid this summer despite calls of fraud that led to several weeks of protests, crackdowns, and violence. These days he is in the news for controversy surrounding Iran's nuclear program.

You will be hard pressed (and probably violently repressed) to find a picture of Ahmadinejad in anything other than a suit and Oxford shirt with no tie and the top button undone. So get some business casual attire, a beard (real or otherwise), and a suntan, and you should be all set. Ahmadinejad is known more for his name and nuclear ambitions than his looks, so a name-tag or "Death to America!" sticker might be in order. For that special touch, you can carry a "Ballot Box" prop stuffed with the 11 million controversial votes that separated Ahmadinejad and his opponent, Mir Hossein Mousavi, or just use it for candy collection. (With the stuffed ballot box, you're also on your way to a nice Hamid Karzai.)

2. Death Panel

Scare tactics came early this year thanks to the health care overhaul, and not only in the maddening lethargy of our legislative branch. The "death panel" term was first used by Sarah Palin, then endorsed by Republican Sen. Chuck Grassley of Iowa, who added the phrase "pull the plug on Grandma." But in the end, who cares if the "death panel" never actually made it into the health care legislation? Witches and zombies probably aren't real either, and they make great costumes.

If you're a group, you can all don your best bureaucrat get-up -- something somber, monochromatic, and formal -- get some charts/clipboards, and then cut the cord off an old appliance and label it "Grandma." Single-person "Death Panels" can dress as Death itself, again with the cord prop in addition to the reaper.

3. Obama's Birth Certificate

According to Article II of the Constitution, the president must be a "natural born citizen," but there has been some controversy about Obama's birth. That the existence of his birth certificate has been verified by the Republican governor of Hawaii – the place of Obama's (alleged) birth – and the nonpartisan factcheck.org is apparently not enough proof for those known as the "birthers."

I get the feeling that nothing short of a personal visit to the birth certificate will convince those out on the fringe, but until then you can wear your own version of the document. Like those who wear their own Facebook pages or advertise on the street, don some poster-board or cardboard and get clever. First, the city -- Nairobi, Kenya, has been tossed around as a possible birthplace for our president, and would look nearly as ridiculous as the allegation itself written on an otherwise American birth certificate. The next step would be to write something in Arabic in the "City" field to highlight Obama's apparent Muslim sympathies. On that note, our president's middle name, "Hussein," could be in gigantic font if you want to give the certificate that extra (and hopefully satirical) punch.

4. Somali Pirates

The pirate is a Halloween classic. Its scope is broad, ranging from the ruffled shirts and hooks of the captain to the bandanas, eye-patches, and scurvied ruggedness of the crew. This bygone image of the pirate hasn't been topical since the 18th Century, but these days a new bunch of scalawags has made itself known as a threat to international shipping vessels. Somali pirates, driven to the seas by systemic corruption and poverty in their country, hijack cargo ships and oil tankers and ransom them for profit.

While dressing like a Somali pirate won't give you an excuse to drink rum or growl "ar" syllables in your speech, it is easy. The Somali pirate usually wears a track suit, tee or sleeveless shirt, and the thousand-mile stare of one whose home is so ravaged by political and economic instability that he must turn to piracy as a lone respite from anarchy. Don a vacuous, far-off look and you might even be dressed like a Somali pirate right now. The icing on this cake of East-African chaos is, of course, the RPG, which could either take some creative paper mache work or contact with an arms dealer in Yemen.

5. Swine Flu

As if economic hardship and piracy weren't enough, add a global pandemic the World Health Organization classifies as a "public health emergency of international concern." The virus known as H1N1 or, more commonly, "swine flu" because of its perceived link to pigs, has sent many colleges scrambling for quarantine space as students ride out its week-long effects.

A pandemic is no laughing matter, unless it has a name like swine flu -- at which point it becomes a gold mine. (H1N1? Too serious.) The sordid connotations and bluntness of "swine" fits well with the griminess of so many Halloween costumes. Pig noses are always fun, as are pig ears and pig tails. To those add a bathrobe and thermometer, hospital gown, or some other flourish to suggest you, too, have contracted the sickness. If you can manage both a pig's snout and a sanitary face mask at the same time it would be impressive, but it would probably make it difficult to enunciate "Trick or Treat."


These suggestions merely scratch the surface of possibilities for celebrating a holiday that encourages the awakening of your inner satirist. Such an embrace of absurdity and humor could provide a refreshing, albeit temporary, escape from that sobering news report or slow job market. So try out something topical at your Halloween party this year -- and if someone asks you to explain yourself, perhaps your should drop section A1 of your local rag into their goodie bag instead of candy. At least it beats dried fruit, right?