Men's Group Tells Rihanna to 'Woman Up'

On Thursday, the National Coalition for Men (yeah, me neither) released a statement calling on pop princess Rihanna, the very public victim of physical abuse at the hands of her fellow chart-topping ex-boyfy Chris Brown, to "woman up" and accept responsibility for her role in their now infamous battle royale.

In an interview with ABC's Diane Sawyer, which airs at 10 tonight on "20/20," Rihanna will for the first time talk about what happened that night, and the NCFM says the "Disturbia" singer isn't telling the whole truth.

"According to court records and other sources, Rihanna struck Brown in the face 'numerous times' before Brown assaulted her. NCFM purports [that] although that would not justify his more severe assault, her violence should not be ignored, and if she does not 'woman up' to it, then her message will be the usual one-sided double standard that leaves female perpetration covered up," the statement reads.

On its Web site (registered at an always-authoritative-seeming ".org"), NCFM attempts to dispel what it calls two "myths" about DV: 1) Men are rarely victims of domestic violence and 2) Most DV by women is in self-defense. According to the coalition, half of domestic violence victims are men, and women "commit DV for the same reasons men do . . . usually to 'get through to them.'" Self-defense was among women's least common motives, says the site.

By now, many of us have seen the picture of Rihanna's bruised and battered face that was leaked by two female police officers immediately after the night in question. No such picture of Brown was taken, which is not to say he got away unscathed. In August, Brown was sentenced to five years' probation and 1,400 hours of "labor oriented" community service.

But should Rihanna, who according to some reports struck Brown first, have been on trial too? Does "woman-ing up" mean that all's fair in love and war? Or does the fairer sex get a free pass when it comes to physical violence? As always, I turn to pop culture to answer life's enigmas. Last night while catching up on the ABC sitcom "Modern Family," via Hulu, I realized some fights are never fair.

In the episode entitled "En Garde," the lovably rotund 9-year-old Manny is a fencing phenom until he refuses to joust with a girl. "Why? Because men are always so superior?" asks his mother, who gives him a pep talk/equality/women's lib speech that sends him back into the ring or whatever. "Expect no mercy," Manny tells his opponent, a cute little girl who stares him dead in the eye and deadpans, "Bring it on, big boy."
Of course, Manny "The Merciless" totally destroys his opponent -- a diabetic orphan, we learn later.

It's supposed to be funny . . . victory (equality) not being as sweet as it sounds.