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Levi Johnston, Put Your Pants On
Seriously, Levi, put on your pants. You posed nude. Things got out of hand. You got in over your head, got bad advice, let the attention flatter you. You were tempted by the easy money and the first-class travel, I understand. I'm sure it's difficult for an unemployed and uneducated young man to resist such enticing persuasion. That said, you need to get out of the shower and clean up your act. It's fine to have an appetite for publicity, but that's no reason to be infamous. There can be no good end to this course you've taken.
Porn is a huge industry in the United States. Playgirl Magazine is a player in that universe, and now, Levi, so are you. You are the Fleshbot awardee of an "11-inch dildo made of silver." The porn magazine that hired you has over 200 "arty," unclothed images of you for sale, several accessorized by a hockey stick. They will be releasing them to the public in a slow dribble.
I'm not saying adult entertainment isn't viable commerce, it's just really distasteful: ugly, exploitive, abusive and yes, dirty. They may be paying you what feels like a lot of money, (OK, $100,000 is a lot of money -- although I wonder how much of a cut goes to Sherman "Tank" Jones, your mentor, handler, spokesperson, business manager and bodyguard). But is it enough to make yourself into a punch line?
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If political matters completely out of your control had not happened in the summer of 2008, most likely you'd have lived a quiet, unremarkable life in the wilds of Alaska. This opposite, media-centric version of Levi life you're experiencing is bound to be more interesting, but it is perilous and carries almost certain disappointment. When normalcy vanished, maybe turning yourself into a commodity was the only option you saw, but think about it. You have one important thing at the center of your life besides yourself: you are the father of a little boy. You didn't plan that. Abstinence is a great concept but it's bad preparation.
Such mistakes happen. When yours did, I don't know whether you and Bristol considered other scenarios beyond the one her parents laid out for you. (If ever there was an argument to explore reproductive options, it was yours.) But that's all history. However things transpired, you now have a tiny son, Tripp, 11 months old, who will need a dad. Act like you could be one.
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Bonnie Goldstein
Bonnie Goldstein has been a private eye, Senate aide, coat check girl, Slate columnist, and investigative producer for ABC News.... moreRelated Articles
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Comments (424)
bobapplb1
6:26AM Nov 25th 2009
Poor-poor Levi. What an idiot. Cut from the same cloth as Jon Gosslin. And may I also say Bonnie Goldstein is an idiot too?
RATE THIS COMMENT:
(139)
(139) 
gnmk09
7:02AM Nov 25th 2009
I am with you on that, Levi is a young and dumb misguided adolescent who just got scammed by these people. The magazine stands to make a sizable profit from the publicity.
RATE THIS COMMENT: (171)
(171) shutterbug
11:04AM Nov 25th 2009
As long as Sarah Palin is in the news, there will be Levi.
RATE THIS COMMENT: (96)
(96) trout lips
2:24PM Nov 25th 2009
I'm embarrassed to be even writing about someone who wouldn't be on the news planet if it wasn't for the fact that he knocked-up Palin's daughther. Why is everybody giving this clown all the attention he doesn't deserve? Maybe if we just ignore him, he'll go away.
RATE THIS COMMENT: (223)
(223) chuckie
4:44PM Nov 29th 2009
Don't be so hard on this guy. He's just trying to raise some money for his child support. McDonald's just doesn't pay that well.
RATE THIS COMMENT:
(-10)
(-10) mylabrookie
4:47PM Nov 29th 2009
I'm Confused "Is that his face or does he have his pants down??
RATE THIS COMMENT: (48)
(48) az4bo
5:42PM Nov 29th 2009
Give the kid a break....he started with a sara palin and mccain circus...a girlfriend pregnant, a mom in prison....not sure about his father or other family.....If anything you people should bash the pigs who prey on the young and exploit them. Hopefully some successful man will step up to the plate and help this young, nice looking man out a bit. Maybe some acting lessons...modeling etc.
RATE THIS COMMENT: (-55)
(-55) jdcapshew
6:52PM Nov 29th 2009
Can you elaborate as to why Bonnie Goldstein is an idiot, please? Her column seemed reasonable even though Levi is a minor news story.
RATE THIS COMMENT: (19)
(19) Brittainy
7:33PM Nov 29th 2009
I agree...both are idiots. Poorly Written.
RATE THIS COMMENT: (11)
(11) cognitogrrl
8:46PM Nov 29th 2009
Hey Bob, sure you MAY call the writer an idiot. I MAY call you one, as well, and we're both entitled to our opinions.
For the misguided young Johnston, I hope someone shows him the editorial, or reads it to him. Takes a lot more than a sperm deposit to make a REAL father.
For the misguided young Johnston, I hope someone shows him the editorial, or reads it to him. Takes a lot more than a sperm deposit to make a REAL father.
RATE THIS COMMENT: (46)
(46) ezlvnv
9:15PM Nov 29th 2009
I wonder why we are always better than someone. People never fail to be so ugly putting other people down all the time. Leave the kid alone! Let's try to focus on ourselves, help the homeless or the less fortunate people if we are so lucky and perfect. Let's set a more positive and constructive approach in our lives! One of these days, nature will remind us of our own vulnerabilities and imperfections. It will be a humbling experience!
RATE THIS COMMENT: (21)
(21) jejozi
9:20PM Nov 29th 2009
The boy has been given poor advice. Remember, he's trailer trash, just like his baby's momma and his almost mother-in-law. But the thing that should make him shudder more than almost marrying into that circus is the fact that a large percentage of the readers, or should I say voyeurs, of Playgirl are homosexual men. lol. Not that there's anything wrong with that.
RATE THIS COMMENT: (-71)
(-71) gnemalie
10:48PM Nov 29th 2009
Jejozi, just why is it that Sarah Palin and her daughter are "trailer trash"? Let's see... they didn't live in trailers, both came from respectable families, both lived in middle class families, neither is even a little bit similar to Britney Spears or Madonna, both had the good sense to kick Levi and his family to the curb when they wouldn't clean up their acts. So what is it that makes them trash to you? Oh, wait, now I see, they are CONSERVATIVES, and people who don't throw away their unplanned babies like yesterday's garbage (which is really the only crime I can think of that these two women could have committed that you find so offensive) makes them trash. And not just any trash. Only women who are TRAILER TRASH have their babies.
RATE THIS COMMENT: (46)
(46) jodylrwebb
7:29AM Nov 25th 2009
Just another falling short in expectations.
RATE THIS COMMENT: (59)
(59) THE BEST EVER!!!
12:19PM Nov 25th 2009
i didnt know people had expectations of him... LOL
RATE THIS COMMENT: (113)
(113) jgpsdca
1:06PM Nov 25th 2009
huh?
Where much is given much is expected. Not much given here. God protects fools, drunks and children. Levi will have to start drinking if he hopes to maintain the Providence he has enjoyed so far.
Where much is given much is expected. Not much given here. God protects fools, drunks and children. Levi will have to start drinking if he hopes to maintain the Providence he has enjoyed so far.
RATE THIS COMMENT: (45)
(45) nanniegb
4:17AM Nov 30th 2009
jody,
Right on with your comment.
Right on with your comment.
RATE THIS COMMENT: (-5)
(-5) theweehedgehog
8:03AM Nov 25th 2009
I think this pretty much shows the character of the young man. People who put any stock in the rubbish he says are not much above him. My concern is for his child. One day he will grow up to see what ha sleeze his dad is. We have such an epidemic of "unfathered" children being raised by older "unfathered" children. The end of that road is horrible to contemplate.
RATE THIS COMMENT: (136)
(136) garry402
8:14AM Nov 25th 2009
Bonnie, you nailed this little weasel. Take your pimp-daddy "Tank" and climb back under that rock you slithered out from. His fifteen minutes of fame has been over a long time ago.
RATE THIS COMMENT: (125)
(125) jrotced02
8:38AM Nov 25th 2009
As long as Sarah Palin draws a breath, Levi will have a career. Remember, she's the twit that allowed this guy to sleep with her daughter, in her home. I want to know what kind of dad would allow his daughter's boyfriend to sleep over?
RATE THIS COMMENT: (-101)
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