What Dennis deLeon Taught Me about Life on His Last Christmas Eve
Mia Navarro
Contributor
Posted:
12/25/09
Exactly a year ago, just arrived from Los Angeles, I was having kind of a lonely Christmas Eve dinner with a friend at the Knickerbocker, a hangout for writers in Manhattan, when I ran into Dennis deLeon and a colleague from the New York Times who was a college buddy of his. They were on their way out after having their own dinner but ended up sitting with us for a couple more hours. Dennis looked like a million bucks and we just talked and talked, reminiscing about the early 90s when I covered AIDS and he was a source.
Dennis served as Executive Director of the Latino Commission on AIDS for nearly 20 years. Before that he had served for four years as New York City's Human Rights Commissioner, as an appointee of Mayor David Dinkins. He advocated for Latino inclusion and for addressing the disproportionate rates of HIV infection among Latinos throughout the country. His efforts led to the first Latino National AIDS Agenda.
He came out as someone with H.I.V. at a time when those who had the virus were outcasts. He fought discrimination and managed to survive H.I.V. when virtually everyone else infected from his generation succumbed.
Dennis passed away on Dec. 14, after living with H.I.V. for more than 25 years. But last year, he shared what he had learned from a life well-lived. I share with you the highlights of his list of life lessons:
1. Be the best informed person you know about medical treatments. Every year, double your knowledge about the disease, how it grows and how it can be defeated.
2. Live like you are going to die tomorrow. Try things you never dreamed of and stop "resume building.'' Do things you enjoy and that pay you something for doing it. So if you die you were at least doing what you wanted.
3. See the beauty of things and people around you and if they do not appear beautiful, work harder to see the beauty in them. Why? Because beauty can sustain you.
4. Make your family proud. My way was to give them news of things I accomplished, news with my name in it so they can circulate the word to all extended family and friends. God knows I have put them through so much grief growing up. They deserve at least a few bragging point. All they really care about is that you were valuable and visible to others and that it reflects well on them.
5. Develop an active sense of outrage and encourage others to do so. This is so critical. People will think you are asleep unless you shout boo to the powers that be around you once in a while. If you are not outraged by injustice they will bury you with indifference, bureaucracy and pity before you are dead.
6. Spread love wherever you go. No one likes you if you are angry or regretful all the time. Kiss, hug, reward, surprise, and do all these and more loving things to complete strangers and acquaintances in your life. For example, love is to get on an elevator at the first floor and connect with everyone before you get off at your floor.
7. In all of our struggles for fairness and equality, remember this: There are no permanent friends or permanent enemies, only people sharing common interests.
Merry Christmas.
Dennis served as Executive Director of the Latino Commission on AIDS for nearly 20 years. Before that he had served for four years as New York City's Human Rights Commissioner, as an appointee of Mayor David Dinkins. He advocated for Latino inclusion and for addressing the disproportionate rates of HIV infection among Latinos throughout the country. His efforts led to the first Latino National AIDS Agenda.
He came out as someone with H.I.V. at a time when those who had the virus were outcasts. He fought discrimination and managed to survive H.I.V. when virtually everyone else infected from his generation succumbed.
Dennis passed away on Dec. 14, after living with H.I.V. for more than 25 years. But last year, he shared what he had learned from a life well-lived. I share with you the highlights of his list of life lessons:
1. Be the best informed person you know about medical treatments. Every year, double your knowledge about the disease, how it grows and how it can be defeated.
2. Live like you are going to die tomorrow. Try things you never dreamed of and stop "resume building.'' Do things you enjoy and that pay you something for doing it. So if you die you were at least doing what you wanted.
3. See the beauty of things and people around you and if they do not appear beautiful, work harder to see the beauty in them. Why? Because beauty can sustain you.
4. Make your family proud. My way was to give them news of things I accomplished, news with my name in it so they can circulate the word to all extended family and friends. God knows I have put them through so much grief growing up. They deserve at least a few bragging point. All they really care about is that you were valuable and visible to others and that it reflects well on them.
5. Develop an active sense of outrage and encourage others to do so. This is so critical. People will think you are asleep unless you shout boo to the powers that be around you once in a while. If you are not outraged by injustice they will bury you with indifference, bureaucracy and pity before you are dead.
6. Spread love wherever you go. No one likes you if you are angry or regretful all the time. Kiss, hug, reward, surprise, and do all these and more loving things to complete strangers and acquaintances in your life. For example, love is to get on an elevator at the first floor and connect with everyone before you get off at your floor.
7. In all of our struggles for fairness and equality, remember this: There are no permanent friends or permanent enemies, only people sharing common interests.
Merry Christmas.