Washington in 60 Seconds -- Reid Promises Immigration Reform 'Just Like We Did Health Care Reform'

Good morning, Capitolists! After two weeks away, it's back to the grind this morning for members of the House and Senate and their hard-working minions (as a former minion, I embrace the title).

But one title Capitol Hill's little people are still smarting over is what House Minority Leader John Boehner called them last month when he referred to "little punk staffers." The staffers are apparently so offended that Politico curiously makes their hurt feelings its top story this morning, complete with a quote from a GOP aide, who defends his colleagues as "smarter than you'd think."

We say: Buck up, little punks. You have great jobs, and you'll always have the Capitolist in your corner. To make your day easier, we're giving you today's top Washington stories, all in the next 60 seconds.


- RINO Hunting Not Now Allowed. Mississippi Gov. Hayley Barbour warned his fellow conservatives at the Southern Republican Leadership Conference over the weekend that hunting Republicans in Name Only will only thin the GOP herd. "A friend who agrees with you 80 percent of the time is your friend and ally," Barbour told the crowd. "He's not a 20-percent traitor." But The New York Times says not all conservatives bought Barbour's RINO-friendly line and have their sites set on the weak-kneed among them. Read it HERE.

- The Agony of Deed's Feat. And finally, The Washington Post answers the burning question "What ever happened to Creigh Deeds?" after the conservative Democrat got trounced by Virginia Gov. Bob McDonnell for the state's top spot last November. The Post reports that Deeds has since gotten divorced, been mocked by Stephen Colbert for proposing a lifetime gun license for infants, and updated his Twitter feed with the prophetic "You Can't Always Get What You Want." But look at the bright side, Creigh Deeds. At least you're nobody's little punk staffer.

Follow me on Twitter @ 1PatriciaMurphy.