Torrid Tory: I Heart David Cameron

2 years ago

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Confession: I have a crush on David Cameron.

Most of my friends ask, "Who?" They figure it's some new guy in an indie rock band.

Those in the political know say, "That Tory guy?"

Yes, the conservative who hopes to be prime minister in England. What can I say? I'm an Anglophile and a political junkie. Cameron blends my fetishes beautifully with his titillating British accent, crisp white shirts and lovely silk ties.

Cameron could talk all day -- and night -- about terrorism, taxes and Tories and I'd listen. I may be a rarity in the United States with this fascination, but not if I lived in Great Britain.

IllicitEncounters.com, a British website that "provides a platform for married people to find secret lovers," recently polled 1,000 of its members about which political celebrity they would like to have an illicit encounter with.

Cameron, 43, wooed 49 percent of female members, who said they would prefer the Conservative Party leader over other party leaders for a clandestine roll in the hay. Nick Clegg, also 43, the Liberal Democrat who is taking Britain by storm after last week's debate, came in second with 30 percent of the female votes. Not surprisingly, current Prime Minister Gordon Brown, 57, received only 7 percent.

The good news is that Cameron's wife, Samantha, ranked higher in the poll with 52 percent. While she's busy with her own affair, Cameron would have plenty of time for his.

My Cameron lust began about four years ago, when I read a mention of him in The Economist. He had become the "leader of the opposition." That's a bold and sexy title -- much better than prime minister, which sounds stuffy. As opposition leader -- with its shadow government -- it was as if Cameron led some sort of intergalactic Rebel Alliance, taking down foes with wit and aplomb.

Maybe I just like bad boys.

Cameron has a reputation for being one, especially when he attended university and was a member of the Bullingdon Club, a private "dining" club whose members fancy excessive drink that often leads to debauchery and damages. What's wrong with a Bacchanalia once in a while?

In Great Britain, Cameron garners a lot of criticism for being a member of the posh upper class and looking down his "long toffee nose" at those in the country's hinterlands. Even the songs on his iPod have been criticized. So what if he likes The Smiths and The Jam? Cameron is a child of the music video '80s. Give him a pass. I'll dance to "Girlfriend in a Coma" and "The Eton Rifles" with him any night at any pub.

He's a metropolitan Tory and doesn't support the common folk – so saith Brown and Clegg. Maybe the PM is simply jealous of Cameron's rankings on best-dressed lists while Brown languishes as one of the worst-dressed.

Americans, and likely the British, too, want a leader with whom they can drink a beer and talk sports. Cameron may not be that guy, but I wouldn't mine sharing a brandy with the torrid Tory on a cold winter night while he recited his Conservative Manifesto 2010.

Thanks to technology, I don't have to live in the United Kingdom to feed my fetish.

Taking a page from President Obama's campaign playbook, Cameron has his own YouTube channel -- Webcameronuk, certainly a witty name. There's Cameron riding his bicycle, rallying British troops stationed in Afghanistan, typing on his Mac laptop and gearing up for the House of Commons. One video that isn't on there but sums up Cameron's humor has him explaining -- in that uppity, delicious British accent -- why too many "tweets make a twat."

If Cameron's party should lose the election on May 6, he could take a lesson from failed politicians in the United States -- Mike Huckabee and Sarah Palin -- and have a solid career in television with a reality show.

And if he prefers a sex scandal, I hope it's with me.

Filed Under: Woman Up

Tagged: DavidCameron, GordonBrown, NickClegg, Samantha Cameron, The Jam, TheSmiths

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