'Single Ladies' Dancers and Miss USA: The Sizzle Over Sex

Even though booty-shaking is a national pastime, much like McDonald's, SUVs and politicians with mistresses, we often struggle with our indulgences. Especially when our young people have an appetite for the very things that enthrall and seduce us.

We get hot and bothered about child dancers gyrating on stage to Beyoncé's "Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It)." But we're OK with Beyoncé herself performing at a White House state dinner because her alter ego Sasha Fierce stayed home. (What will be our thoughts when we see Liza Minnelli perform "Single Ladies" in "Sex in the City 2"?)

We also get into a snit about Miss USA Rima Fakih pole dancing, for being a Muslim, and for tripping on her dress. But we're relatively quiet about the traditionally family friendly pageant borrowing from Victoria's Secret racy boudoir and featuring the contestants in lingerie photos.

How about settling down before throwing stones. Maybe we can think about how sexy cool we permit/push/wish our own kids were before criticizing parents who defended the young dancers performing to "Single Ladies" in an "Inside Edition" interview, or before shaking our heads when we learn that the girls, who are not old enough to date, also performed a sexy rendition of "My Boyfriend's Back."

I mean, what would a peek in family webcams around America reveal? Would we see the parent who dresses little boys in sagging jeans and a diamond earring and calls it rapper-sexy-fine? Would we gaze at the mom who acts demurely, but lives through her daughter's exploits? Would we discover the plain-talking dad who advises his teenage son to sow his wild oats but who becomes livid when his daughter sows hers?

Our inner conflicts run deep. The furor over the girls dancing to "Single Ladies" and the crowning of Miss USA say more about us than we realize. Judging by outward appearances alone may appear genuine. But self-righteousness -- and it's extreme twin, the everything goes mindset -- can be as dangerous as yelling "fire!" in a crowded building. It takes a certain awareness to first understand how a hyper-sexualized culture affects the person we see in the mirror before gleefully tagging others with a Scarlett Letter or belittling them as Ridiculously Uptight.

Traces of our ambivalent culture appear in the words of pageant owner Donald Trump when he discussed the decision to feature Miss USA contestants in lingerie photos. E! Online reported Trump as saying in an interview with Ryan Seacrest: